Double Faced Mask
A Yami no Matsuei fanficAuthor: Ria
Disclaimer: YnM is copyright to several people, such as Yoko Matsushita and Hakusensha. It�s not mine and never will be, considering I�m just a college student struggling with a part-time job because she�s so broke. Suing me would be rather pointless. I just do this because I love to and hopefully to give others some enjoyment, too.
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: The anime and the first few volumes of the manga.
Pairings: Tsuzuki/Hisoka, Tatsumi/Watari
Warnings: angst, memories of NCS and mind-rape, eventual shounen-ai
Summary: Tsuzuki angsts and Hisoka�s logical (but still dense) about their situation. Then Watari gets in on the act to deliver some advice, dragging a helpless Tatsumi along for the ride�
Timeline: A few months after the Kyoto arc in the anime with some stuff from the manga thrown in for good measure. If you�ve seen the anime, you�ll be fine. If you�ve seen both, you�ll be great!
Author�s Notes: Our resident mad scientist(tm) speaks (and rambles�)! This is the longest chapter so far because Watari found it hard to shut up. *g* What else is new, eh? And the Watari/Tatsumi is finally here! Enjoy! Lyrics are from �The Scientist� from Coldplay, and aren�t mine.
Double Faced Mask
Chemical Reaction I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling your puzzles apartQuestions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
Something�s up. I can practically taste it on the air and I�m not imagining things if Bon�s body language is anything to go by. Everyone else knows that something is going on, too; they watch them and wait for a sign, some shred of proof that things have really changed that way for them.
Me? I just go up and ask them, usually getting a smack on the head for my troubles. But more often than not, they end up inadvertently telling me what I want to hear in the midst of their ranting and yelling, which I then go on to tell everyone else. Hell, I�m the office grapevine, after all!
Tsuzuki has been broodier than usual (I�ve lost count of the amount of times that I�ve caught him at his desk, staring into space) and Bon�s edgier than a cat on a hot tin roof. They�re doing this strange little dance around each other, full of slight touches and sidelong glances from underneath lowered eyelashes... I think it�s very cute.
I also know damn well that they want to shag each other senseless. It�s blatantly obvious.
Tatsumi knows what the dance means, too, and he doesn�t like it. I can�t really blame him, but he�s had plenty of chances with Tsuzuki and he�s managed to blow them all. He�s too cautious a lover for Tsuzuki, no matter how much he cares about him, and he knows it. He�s never quite forgiven himself for letting Bon run into Touda�s flames while he stayed back and respected Tsuzuki�s wishes. Thank God he had the sense to save them both.
He�s jealous, though he�d go into debt before he�d admit it. He�s jealous of Bon because he�s more reckless when it comes to our violet-eyed Shinigami, and he�s jealous of Tsuzuki because he instinctively turns to Bon instead of Tatsumi for comfort and companionship. He�s just� jealous.
If you ask me, Tatsumi needs to accept defeat gracefully and move on. And possibly notice me to boot, but perhaps that�s asking a little too much. Oh well, I can do it fine on my own, anyway. Tatsumi needs someone who�s able to get him to lighten up a bit, but not with the bucket-loads of angst and self-pity that accompany Tsuzuki. And, well, can I help it if that person is me?
I�ll get my man. Eventually.
On my way to Tsuzuki�s office, I stop by my own, peering in just to remind myself what it looks like. I don�t like the place, really � it doesn�t have the charm of my lab, but Bon always points out that�s it have charm if I actually spent time there. And as I�m a graceful freeloader (as Bon so elegantly called me when he was in a foul mood, much to Tsuzuki�s distress and my amusement) who spends most of his time in his lab accidentally making explosions, I have very little paperwork to do. I don�t think anyone even comes here anymore, instead treating my lab as my office.
Oh, well. I glance around once more, before firmly shutting the door behind me for another couple of months.
Tsuzuki�s alone in the office he shares with Bon, staring at his paperwork as if just by looking at it, it can be done. To be fair, he�s actually been doing his paperwork regularly ever since he and Bon got into this after-work habit of theirs. Though everyone thought they were just imagining it because I�d put something in the coffee, which would have been offensive if I hadn�t thought I was imagining it, too.
�Hey, Tsuzuki,� I greet him with a smile and a cheerful wave. �Where�s Bon?�
He looks up and smiles in return. �He�s in the library, chatting with the Gushoshin.�
Ah, that makes things much easier. I�ll tackle them one at a time. �So,� I say casually, hopping up on Bon�s desk and swinging my legs as I face Tsuzuki, �what�s going on between you two?�
Tsuzuki blinks and freezes. After several moments of silence and what appears to be some rapid thinking, he sighs, �Nothing.�
I laugh, a surprise burst of sound. Tsuzuki stares at me. �Oh, come on!� I chuckle. �Surely you can do better than that?�
�Eh?� Tsuzuki looks completely lost.
�Everyone knows that something�s going on better you two � you just won�t publicly admit it,� I say, smiling pleasantly.
�There�s nothing going on!� Tsuzuki frowns, unusually stubborn about the subject, so I go onto my back-up plan.
�Here, I made these for you,� I remark, pulling a small box of chocolates from my pocket. �I promise that they�re edible and won�t main or kill you, or turn you into a woman.� Tsuzuki�s eyes light up and he reaches eagerly for the package, but I dangle them just out of his reach. �First,� I say sweetly, �tell me what�s going on between you and Bon.�
Tsuzuki sighs and wilts, knowing that he�s been trapped, rather brilliantly if I do say so myself. Finally he mumbles, �There�s really nothing going on, but��
�But you�d like there to be,� I say shrewdly, my eyes narrowing as I study him. My glasses drop down my nose, but I don�t bother to push them up � that�s Tatsumi�s automatic gesture, not mine.
Tsuzuki nods, a complete picture of misery, and I can�t help but feel sorry for him. �Here.� I toss the little box at him.
He catches it easily and already has two chocolates swallowed by the time I blink. Surprise spreads across his face. �These are really good, Watari! How come you can�t cook this well all the time?�
I shrug, pleased with his backhanded compliment. �I try my best,� I reply, smiling. �So,� I go on, settling myself more completely on the desk, �talk to your Uncle Watari.�
Tsuzuki gives me a doubtful look. �No offence, but you hardly strike me as the agony uncle type.�
I shrug again. �Hey, even I need a hobby other than exploding things, ne?�
�Hai, I suppose so.� Tsuzuki silently contemplates is general situation for a moment, before groaning and collapsing onto his desk. �I don�t know what to do! I do like him, but I can�t just come out and say it! Hisoka would probably throw furniture at me, or something��
I can hardly argue with that, but I have to try. �So you�re just going to let things continue like this? Hardly! What�s wrong here is that you two are seriously in denial and hiding behind the excuse that �he probably doesn�t really like me, anyway�, because Bon does feel that way for you Tsuzuki, only he�s just as reluctant to admit it as you are! I can see it, and so can everyone else! Everyone, it seems, except you!�
Tsuzuki shakes his head. �No, I can see the hints, except he�s so� skittish, and I keep thinking that I�m going to do the wrong thing and ruin everything completely!�
I cup my chin in my right hand and regard him thoughtfully. �Well, keep thinking like that and you will do the wrong thing. What you need is some optimism.�
Tsuzuki snorts, studying a chocolate before popping it into his mouth. �Easy for you to say.�
No, not really, since Tatsumi no more notices me now than he did twenty years ago (except when I piss him off), but I don�t voice that aloud. We�re here to solve Tsuzuki�s love life, not my own. One problem at a time.
�Hmmm.� I absently fiddle with the ends of my hair as I try to think through this as logically as I can. Not that easy, considering logic isn�t exactly my forte. I leave all that to Tatsumi and Bon. �I think I have a solution.�
Tsuzuki blinks repeatedly. �You do? That was fast! I�ve been trying to figure this out for the last few months and didn�t get anywhere!�
I beam at him. �Scientific genius, remember?� Maybe I was too hasty to dismiss counselling, after all�
�So, what�s your solution, then?� Tsuzuki asks, leaning back in his chair, paperwork forgotten. He certainly has his priorities right.
�Simple!� I strike a pose, pausing for dramatic effect. �You, Tsuzuki Asato, must woo Kurosaki Hisoka!�
A few heartbeats of silence. Then: �Woo him?�
�Hai!� I nod energetically. I know it�s not the thought of it that�s surprised Tsuzuki, considering the time period that he grew up in, but the actual prospect of wooing Bon that�s freaking him out. I can�t say that I blame him, however � this is certainly a more hare-brained scheme of mine. Bon would probably like being wooed about as much as he likes being accidentally touched by complete strangers. But done the right way it could work, especially considering that it�s Tsuzuki that�s doing the actual wooing�
Tsuzuki considers this new option for several minutes, his brow furrowed. Hey, it beats being confused and miserable, if you ask me. Of course, I�m just the resident mad scientist, what do I know?
A lot more than they think, but that�s my little secret.
�Okay,� he says at last, looking up at me. �What do I have to do?�
I can�t help but give him a withering glance. �It�s not what you have to do, Tsuzuki, but what you want to do. But considering that this is Bon we�re dealing with, we have to be a little more careful. We really don�t want him throwing any furniture at you.� I contemplate for a while, before saying, �I�d say for you to try and stop him always snapping and yelling at you, but since he doesn�t do that as much anymore anyway, it�s not top priority. You could be a bit more responsible, but you�ve already started that by actually doing your paperwork on time. Hmmm� how about taking him out someplace special?�
�You mean, like a restaurant?� Tsuzuki asks.
I nod. �Hai! But maybe you shouldn�t go on about dessert as much, at least for the first time. If you started changing completely, he�d probably start thinking you have some sort of ulterior motive.� I pause. �On second thought, never mind. Act like yourself. Staying normal is better.�
Tsuzuki smiles, before suddenly wilting. �But we�ve gone to restaurants plenty of times before. It�s not going to be very special, is it?�
I sigh. Sometimes, I think he does this deliberately just to frustrate me. �You have to make it special, Tsuzuki. Dress up a bit!� I know damn well that Bon is a fashion plate when he wants to be, so having Tsuzuki actually dress up will be a major hint that this is out of the ordinary. �What else that�s special would you like to do with him?�
There�s a very long pause before Tsuzuki looks at me with large eyes and whispers, �I want to dance with him.�
For a moment I can only stare at him, touched despite myself. Considering Tsuzuki and dancing, it�s not surprise that�s what he�d consider really special to do with Bon. In fact, I can already see it in my mind�s eye� I wonder if there�s any way I could sneak 003 in to take pictures�
That is, if we can get this to work�
I clap brightly. �Well, there�s your answer! Take him dancing after the meal! Or, better yet, do it privately at your own place afterwards, since he�s still not that good in crowds�� I beam, even surprised myself that this is going so well. Maybe I should seriously start considering a future counselling role� I could try Terazuma next � well, Wakaba-chan and I would get a kick out of it, at least, maybe not him�
Tsuzuki still doesn�t look completely convinced and I�m beginning to feel a little irritated; my plan is foolproof, after all � well, almost. �But, even if it works� well, every time that I�d try to touch him, he�d think of him. Hell, so would I, for that matter.� A furious light has appeared in Tsuzuki�s striking eyes as his expression hardens.
I can feel my own blood pressure rising. Like most of the office, I�d dearly wish to get my hands on the dearly psychotic Muraki so I could destroy him slowly and painfully. Tsuzuki and Bon won�t say much, but I know that neither will forget him anytime soon. Thankfully, moving on doesn�t mean forgetting, but that isn�t easy for them, either.
I know that Tsuzuki still has the nightmares from Kyoto, and I know that Bon still can�t watch the Sakura at night without flinching.
I let out a heavy sigh, knowing that I have to be careful in what I say next. �You�ve no choice, Tsuzuki. You just going to have to make the first move, or never make it at all. You know Bon and physical attraction. If you left it up to him, he wouldn�t make the first move for at least another decade,� I tell him as matter-of-factly as I can, while still trying to be gentle.
Tsuzuki groans and props his chin on his hands. �I guess you�re right,� he says mournfully.
I sniff. �Of course I�m right!�
He cracks a smile despite himself. �I�m scared,� he confesses.
I nod. �This is important to you; of course you are. If you weren�t, I�d start to worry.� I give him my best reassuring smile. �But I wouldn�t worry about it � it�s Bon. He loses about half his common sense when it comes to you!�
Tsuzuki frowns. �Was that supposed to make me feel better?�
I shrug. �Eh, I tried.�
He smiles. �Thanks, Watari.�
I smile back at him. �You�re welcome.�
Our conversation-cum-counselling session comes to an abrupt half by Bon walking in, his arms laden down with books that the Gushoshin probably lent him with much gushing and praise. I eye the stack of books warily; Bon and I disagree on the definition of �light reading�. The kid can go through a six hundred page tome in a day with no interruptions � he should be the one wearing glasses, not me!
�Hi, Bon!� I trill, beaming at him. 003 flutters from his shoulder to hover around me (so that�s where she went to), before landing on my shoulder and cuddling up to my hair. I pet her affectionately for a moment, before turning my attention back to Bon.
He turns those unnatural, piercing eyes to me and a small smile ghosts over his lips. �Watari-san,� he greets me, always too polite for his own good sometimes. I hop off his desk so he can put his books down.
�Well, I�ll be going,� I say cheerfully, waving at them as I move towards the door. 003 cracks open an eye and hoots goodbye. Tsuzuki gives me a slightly panicked look, but I wink at him.
I glance behind me as I leave, just in time to see the mixed expression of fear and longing cross Bon�s face as he looks at Tsuzuki, who�s back to staring at his paperwork again.
Yup, Tsuzuki has absolutely nothing to worry about, at all.
�Watari-san.�
The polite, cool voice makes me stop in my tracks, just a few feet away from Tsuzuki and Bon�s office. I turn to find Tatsumi standing behind me with his arms crossed and a neutral expression on his face.
�Tatsumi-san,� I say warmly, but not with my usual carefree attitude. Tsuzuki�s the only one able to talk to Tatsumi in his normal tones; the rest of us are always more instinctively polite. On the other hand, it doesn�t usually serve Tsuzuki any better, either, so I don�t think we�re missing much. One look at Tatsumi�s expression, and I know that he knows damn well what I�ve just been talking about with Tsuzuki. 003 hoots hesitantly at the Boss Man, but knows better than to approach him for any attention.
It must be so difficult for someone as unflappable and serious as Tatsumi to feel such intense jealousy, particularly for someone so much younger than him. I suspect that he finds it a struggle to control it, though he wouldn�t admit it until it was too and he�d already lashed out at someone, most likely Bon.
�It�s unlike you to give romantic advice,� Tatsumi remarks as he steps up to stand beside me.
And it�s unlike you to take such an interest in anyone�s love-life, I think. Of course, since it�s Tsuzuki�s, you can�t help yourself. Out loud, I say with a shrug, �Tsuzuki asked me for his opinion and I gave it.� A complete lie, of course, since I had to bribe him to tell me what was going on, but Tatsumi already knows that and I�m not going to say it. I like my pride just as it is.
�Hn.� Something flickers across Tatsumi�s face, gone too quickly for me to recognise it. But I can guess.
�Jealousy doesn�t really suit you, Tatsumi-san,� I say gently, hoping that this isn�t going to backfire on me.
Tatsumi�s hard eyes widen a fraction and I instinctively take a step back. He�s silent for the next few minutes and I stare out a window while I wait. I can see the gentle fall of Sakura in the distance, the soft monotony making me automatically relax.
�I don�t want to be jealous.� Tatsumi�s voice, though still cool and distant, now has a softer tint to it. �I willingly gave up Tsuzuki all those years ago. I shouldn�t feel like this. But��
�It�s hard to accept change,� I remark after a while, risking a glance at him. He�s staring outside, too, but I can tell that he�s not really seeing anything. �It�s hard to accept that Tsuzuki is no longer going to be there as he always was, that there�s someone he cherishes and loves now that�s not you.�
Tatsumi chuckles. �Since when did you get so well at delivering advice?� I grin at him as he glances at me, his glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose as they always do. But, possibly for the first time since I�ve known him, he doesn�t automatically push them up this time.
�It�s a new talent,� I reply, wondering how I can turn this to my advantage. Perhaps if Tatsumi had a part in the matchmaking it would lessen his jealousy. �Why don�t you deliver some helpful advice to Bon?� I suggest, deliberately not looking at him. �It would certainly make Tsuzuki�s job easier if Bon was a little clued in.� It�d make my job a little easier, too, since I don�t think I can go through with Bon what I�ve just gone through with Tsuzuki.
Besides, Bon wouldn�t dare throw furniture at Tatsumi. Well, not without a genuine reason that wouldn�t get him fired, anyway.
�Me?� The incredulity in Tatsumi�s voice makes me look at him. The blatant astonishment on his face is so entertaining that it�d probably kill me if I weren�t already dead.
I feel a wicked smile curly my lips. �Hai, Boss Man, you.� I come right up beside him and stare at him, my hands on my hips and a challenge in my eyes. �Why, don�t you think you can do it?� 003 titters anxiously, but I ignore her.
Tatsumi�s eyes narrow as he studies me, and for a moment I wonder if he�s as oblivious to what I feel for him as I assume he is. �Very well,� he says in a clipped voice. �I�ll speak with him.�
My smile widens to a grin as I lay down my trump card. �Care to make a little wager, too?� My voice is innocent, teasing, but I know the expression in my eyes is anything but.
I always see more than everyone thinks I do. Thus, I know all of their weaknesses and motivations. And Tatsumi, scrooge that he is, can never resist money.
His eyes gleam and he grins back at me. �Very well,� he purrs, and my heart begins to thump despite my best efforts. �What are we wagering on?�
�That when Tsuzuki finally tells Bon how he feels, things will finally happen between them,� I say triumphantly.
�Fine,� Tatsumi murmurs, a goading expression on his face. I grin, almost laughing. It�s not even close to his true feelings, but getting Tatsumi to relax and let his guard down is an immense task in itself that requires constant dedication and persistence. But if he sees me as more than the resident mad scientist with the trademark insane cackle for even a moment, then I�m one step closer. I can be happy with that.
I toss him one last smile and turn, sauntering down the hallways, 0003 hovering around me, slightly anxious at the uneven emotional levels that she�s picking up on. I can feel Tatsumi�s gaze on me as I walk, and I can�t help the smug smile from spreading across my face.
If today�s taught me anything, it�s that I definitely shouldn�t dismiss my budding agony uncle skills in future. Not only have I helped make significant progress on Tsuzuki and Bon�s love life, but also my own currently doesn�t look all that bad, either.
� End Chemical Reaction �