A Dance of Shyness and Seduction
Author: Ria
Disclaimer: It�s not mine, which is pretty obvious. I just like fucking with them and returning them (mostly) in one piece.
Rating: R/NC-17 (leaning more towards R right now)
Spoilers: OotP mostly
Pairing: Harry/Bill
Summary: For over a year, Bill has been protecting Harry during the clean-up after the war. But now Harry is taking matters into his own hands.
Notes: For McKay's�s �I Don�t Want To Die A Virgin� challenge. This came out a lot less happy than I intended. Not exactly what I had in mind for my first Harry/Bill fic. Oh, well. Dedicated to Amy �cause if it weren�t for her, this wouldn�t be here. Enjoy.

A Dance of Shyness and Seduction

 

�I don�t want to die a virgin.�

The words were spoken softly, but with a thread of steel evident in the voice. Bill blinked, slowly looking up to meet a pair of weary, bottle green eyes. He didn�t know what to say, but then he rarely knew what to say to Harry these days.

The best description of the boy � though he wasn�t a boy anymore � would be moody, except Harry didn�t yell or lose his temper. Instead, he was almost always silent, speaking only when spoken to, never raising his voice. It had taken Bill months before Harry had started talking to him freely, and he still sometimes found himself in conversations where he did all the talking.

At last, Bill replied, �You�re not going to die, Harry. He�s dead.�

�So�s Dumbledore.�

Bill flinched. Even now, hearing the pain in Harry�s voice when he spoke of the old headmaster made his chest hurt. How long would it take for Harry to forgive himself? �It wasn�t your fault.�

�I as good as killed him myself,� was the flat answer. Harry�s hands curled into fists, his knuckles whitening as they trembled.

Bill shook his head � it was practically useless talking to him when he was like this. �You cast the killing blow, Harry � Dumbledore merely ensured that it hit.� And died for it, but it was a risk that he was willing to take, he added silently. He would have done anything to make sure Voldemort was gone for good this time.

Harry laughed bitterly. �Fool yourself, then. At least I know the truth.�

Bill barely resisted the urge to grind his teeth. At least Harry seemed to have forgotten this ridiculous notion of dying a virgin. �Fine, whatever you say.�

Harry lapsed into silence again, his expression becoming thoughtful. Bill returned to his book, but his concentration was shot to Hell. He stared at the same page as time trickled by, frowning.

The war was over, with two of the greatest figures of the twentieth century dead with it. All that was left was the clean up, but with many of the Death Eaters still alive, particularly some of Voldemort�s Inner Circle, Harry was still a target. This was why he was still stuck in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place (despite the fact that being here made Harry want to climb the walls) and why Bill was still here guarding him. With Dumbledore dead, Harry was the last well-known symbol of the victorious side still alive. No one wanted to think about what would happen if some stray Death Eater somehow managed to kill him.

Confinement now that the war was over suited Harry about as well as it had suited him while the war still raged, only now his moods were less erratic. Now, he simply had none. It was considered normal for him to sit and stare at nothing for the entire day. Before, this lethargy would have been interrupted by a fit of rage (possibly accompanied by destroying some furniture), but not it was just endless staring.

Bill was worried, but so was everyone else. Dumbledore had known how to deal with him when he was like this, but now he was dead and all they do was fumble their way with his example to lead them. Ron and Hermione no longer knew how to speak to this familiar stranger, though Bill personally couldn�t blame Harry for his inability to converse with them anymore. Neither Ron nor Hermione had been at the front lines when Voldemort had been destroyed, Ron being wounded and Hermione drafted in as temporary healer. But Bill had been at the front lines, and he�d seen Harry�s reaction when he�d realised Dumbledore was dead.

To say Harry lost his mind for the next few days was a vast understatement.

Bill looked up when Harry quietly drew a deeper breath.

�I don�t want to die a virgin,� Harry repeated, his tone firm.

Bill couldn�t stop himself from looking blankly at him for a moment, before saying, �Why the sudden fascination with your virginity?� He winced at the bluntness of it, but Harry merely smiled.

Bill suddenly realised that something was definitely not right when Harry�s smile broadened to a grin � a rather disturbing sort of grin. Dread and anticipation began to twist in his stomach as Harry faced him, something sad, wistful and hopeful churning in his eyes.

And when Harry finally leaned down and kissed him, Bill kissed him back, even though he couldn�t ignore the feeling that he was somehow taking advantage of him.

 

Bill had been protecting Harry for over a year while the war had raged closer and closer to its climax. He hadn�t protested when his mother asked him if he would stay in Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place with Harry � he relished the chance of slight relief from the war and, as he and Charlie knew Harry the least, he wouldn�t be as badly affected when Harry got into one of his moods.

He knew, of course, why Number Twelve held such bad memories for Harry � everyone in the Order did � so he was somewhat sympathetic for him when he started remembering Sirius. It took several months for Harry to trust him, but he considered it worthwhile. Bill was usually the only company Harry had for weeks, so who else was he going to trust?

But he hadn�t expected Harry to fall for him. No, that hadn�t been on the cards at all.

Bill fancied Harry, of course � it was the knee-jerk reaction of being surrounded by someone he considered attractive for months on end. He occasionally wanked because of him and had wet dreams about him, but Bill considered that normal. What had never crossed his mind even once was the thought of actually doing anything about it. Aside from the age-difference between them and the fact that he�d thought Harry to be straight, Bill considered Harry�s state of mind too fragile for any romantic overtures. Harry, apparently, had other ideas.

So when Harry kissed him, Bill kissed back because he was horny and had had no love life to speak of for over two years. But he had enough common sense not to take advantage of the situation (unless kissing him was already taking advantage, in which case he was well and truly screwed), not least of all because his mother would kill him if she ever found out about it. Harry unfortunately, chose to take this as rejection.

He glared at him, looking more hurt than angry. �You don�t want me,� he accused.

Bill, meanwhile, was fighting not to lose himself in the dazed feeling flooding through his body. �What?�

Harry�s glare intensified. �You don�t want me!�

Bill blinked as the meaning of Harry�s words finally sank in. �What?� he yelped. �No, I do!�

�You don�t,� Harry retorted. �All you did was just kiss me.�

Well, what did Harry expect, considering this had just come out of the blue? Merlin�s beard, he was almost nineteen, after all! But when Bill thought about it, he realised that in terms of experience� well, Harry was about the same as a stammering fifteen year old. The Boy-Who-Lived hadn�t exactly let many people close to him this past year.

But that was hardly an explanation for his obsession with his virginity. Bill paused. Or maybe it was.

Screw common sense, he realised. All common sense was going to do was make things worse. So he said softly, holding out hid arms, �Come here.�

Harry approached warily, suspicion written all over his face. He yelped when Bill grabbed his wrists and pulled him to him, letting Harry fall onto his lap. Before he could say anything, Bill kissed him, gently at first but rapidly deepening. He didn�t realise until Harry growled and thrust against him exactly how careless he was being � and how far he was letting things go.

He eased the kiss back to gentle and tried to ignore Harry�s growl. He laughed softly and braced his head on Harry� shoulder.

�Don�t you want to go further?� Harry asked, and Bill tensed.

Yes, but not like this. Not when you have no idea of what you�re asking. Bill stared at Harry for several long moments, before he said, �Soon. Soon. When the time�s right.� But it partly felt like he was stalling as well.

Harry eyed him suspiciously. �Promise?�

Bill placed a chaste kiss right on his lips. �Promise.�

 

To be honest, Bill had no idea what to do. On the one hand, he wanted Harry rather desperately. On the other hand, he knew several people (namely his family) who would cheerfully kill him if he did that. It was not an amusing dilemma.

Harry didn�t make things any easier. Now since Bill had given every impression that he wanted him, Harry refused to let it go. Bill could feel his eyes on him when they ate, when he read, and even when he stared into silence. It was unnerving, and Bill couldn�t believe it when he started exhibiting the classic signs of nervousness every time he felt Harry�s gaze on him. His palms sweated; his heart raced; the back of his neck prickled. Unbelievable!

But he kept things under control. He refused to give in. His nerves suffered under the strain, but he persevered � barely.

Harry, however, persevered in his own way. Bill was quite sure that there hadn�t been half as many awkward situations as there suddenly was now. And the look in Harry�s eyes was both arousing and terrifying.

Bill was �reading� � staring mindlessly at the same page for over an hour � when Harry sat down beside him. After over ten minutes of feeling him watching him, Bill�s patience snapped.

�What?� he demanded, glaring at him.

Harry smiled faintly, leaned forward, and kissed him. It started as the barest brush of lips and swiftly deepened, until Bill groaned and dragged him onto his lap. They came up for air and Harry nestled against him, his arms winding around his neck.

�We can�t just ignore this,� Harry whispered.

�I know,� Bill replied wearily, before they both jumped as the doorbell clanged. No hysterical shrieks harmonised with it, however, as Mrs Black�s portrait was (thankfully) long gone.

Harry got off him with a sigh, and let him go to answer it. Bill was pale when he came back, followed by Remus Lupin. Both sat down and tried to hide their nerves, though they felt like Lupin could clearly see the guilt on their faces.

�Remus,� Bill said, as Harry smiled at him.

Lupin�s gaze flicked back and forth between them, a suspicious gleam in his eyes. But instead, he began to tell them why he was here.

 

When Bill came to, Harry was sitting beside him, his face white and his hands trembling. �I thought you were going to die,� he said in a thick voice. �You were out for so long.�

Bill blinked. �Harry,� he breathed at last. It took him a while to blink some more, the cloud of exhaustion threatening to suck him back under.

Harry threw himself forward, kissing Bill frantically and pressing himself as close to him as possible. �Don�t leave me,� he whispered. �Don�t ever leave me.�

�I won�t,� Bill replied softly. It had been Lucius Malfoy who had turned things against him, Lucius, who was supposed to be dead and wasn�t. The mission had been straightforward enough � dispatch straggling Death Eaters in the London area � but Lucius had changed the odds � and nearly killed him.

Lupin had been wrong.

�I�m not letting you go,� Harry said fiercely, �not after this.� He gripped Bill�s short in his hands, and Bill was practically able to feel the waves of anger radiating from him.

He nodded, closing his eyes and feeling like he�d just condemned himself for something he now intended to do.

 

It started off as an intricate dance of shyness and seduction. Bill still sometimes felt like he was doing something completely and utterly wrong � Harry no more felt like a stable nineteen year old than he understood about the Death Eaters and their plight. But this little voice of protest had been growing steadily fainter since his brush with death, and now he hardly listened to it at all. Of course, this didn�t mean to say that his conscience didn�t pip up every so often, but the impact was significantly less.

Harry embraced the dance completely, throwing himself into it when the enthusiasm and earnestness of youth. For the first time in well over a year, he smiled and took an active interest in things around him, instead of just sitting passively. The war still flung him into bouts of silence and moodiness, but they weren�t as extreme as before. For that alone, Bill was happy with how things were progressing.

It finally happened when Bill was dozing. The window was open with a slight breeze drifting through and he was asleep on his bed. Then, feeling gentle pressure on his lips through the haze of sleep, his eyes fluttered open ad he found Harry kneeling over him, kissing him softly.

Bill responded, and the mood changed. The kiss deepened and their hands explored, and Bill knew this was going too far. He tried to pull back, but Harry growled and pressed closer to him, making his intentions perfectly clear.

Bill found himself teetering between keeping his limited morals and giving into his desire. For one long moment he paused, before he grasped Harry by the hips and rolled him until he was under him, still kissing him deeply. To Hell with it, he might as well damn himself the whole way.

He wasn�t thinking of sex when he stripped Harry � it just seemed perfectly natural for him not to wear anything. He allowed Harry to tentatively undress him, patient with his slowness as he just barely managed to remember that this was Harry�s first time. He enjoyed Harry�s whimpers and gasps as he took his nipples in his mouth and slowly worked them into hardness, letting his hands wander. When he gave Harry�s erection a slow, leisurely lick, Harry nearly screamed, arching off the bed as his hands scrabbled for a solid hold.

Bill didn�t know how he managed to remember that this was Harry�s first time, but he did, so he went slowly and allowed Harry to explore. He didn�t rush him and he let him find his own pace, though he ached to toss Harry onto his stomach and take him again and again until Harry screamed and begged and screamed. But he did make Harry scream when he came, something which he felt quite proud of.

But the doubts resurfaced when they curled up together afterwards, letting the breeze from the open window cool the sweat and semen on their bodies. Bill held Harry as he dozed, and started to worry. The remaining Death Eaters would soon be caught and the war would end. There would be no reason for them to remain here anymore. And eventually this would come out and Merlin only knew what would happen then.

It hit him then that he had, technically, taken Harry�s virginity. He had taken the Boy-Who-Lived.

Bill watched the late afternoon fade into early evening and then into twilight, and felt the taint gnaw inside him.

 

� Finis �