Candles

For slashprincess

Candles

He remembered the last time Sirius held him in his arms before their world fell apart. Neither of them had said anything and the silence had been comforting, almost like a warm blanket had been wrapped around them, sheltering them from the outside world and all those that meant them harm. For the first time in a long time, Remus had felt safe, just from Sirius holding him, his head nestled against his shoulder as he breathed in and out. His chest rose up and down steadily; Remus� cheek was against it and he could feel Sirius� heart beating.

In the moments that trickled by, both still refused to say anything that would break the fragile, treasured silence. Remus was aware that he was clinging to his lover, but also knew that Sirius was clinging to him, treating him like the last stable thing in his life. Neither had anyone else to turn to, really, since James and Lily had each other and Peter was just so distant lately, most likely preoccupied with his role as James and Lily�s Potters� Secret-Keeper. So they clung to each other because they had no else but each other.

The candles wavered as wax dripped in straggling, messy lines, gradually hardening as it dribbled onto the worn wood of the table. Remus watched them, spellbound, as Sirius gently ran his fingers through his hair, still breathing slowly and deeply. Some part of him felt like the candles were almost like their last measure of safety, that when they finally guttered out, nothing would be the same again� but that was foolish, of course. Voldemort wouldn�t win; he couldn�t. The prophecy said he wouldn�t and Dumbledore was sure of it.

But that meant little Harry � little gurgling, adorable Harry, who turned James back into a little kid again just by smiling at him � was somehow involved, unless it was the Longbottom boy. And considering what had been done to his parents, he was just as likely to be involved as Harry, maybe even more so�

Remus watched the candles and prayed that little Harry wasn�t the boy of the prophecy.

On impulse, he lifted his head and brushed his lips against Sirius�, the most innocent kiss he�d given him since their first, when he�d been unsure and certain that Sirius would reject him. But as he looked up and Sirius smiled down at him, he couldn�t help but think that there was just something slightly off about Sirius� expression, as if he were hiding something. Not for the first time, Remus realised that though he loved Sirius, there were many times lately when he felt like he didn�t know his lover very well at all.

He didn�t remember falling asleep, but he did, because when he woke the candles were gone and he was alone. He jerked awake, his eyes wide and his heart thumping, sitting bolt upright. He felt very much like he did the morning of the full moon, but somehow this felt worse.

Remus was alone and he couldn�t shake the feeling that something terrible had just happened.

In the distance, dogs began to howl, the sound carrying like a cry of death and mourning.