Take my evolution.

Things that are Good:

- J-pop. J-pop is like the happiest thing that has ever happened to me. Right now I am listening to “Bokura no Ibasho” by WaT, and it is very nice and happy, and sunny, just like the day outside my lovely long Victorian windows.

- Fall cleaning. So I do it backwards. I can see my floor for the first time in months! :D

I feel most generally invigorated in fall - like I’m going somewhere. Everything is fresh and alive in fall - it’s the season of change, the season that gets in your nostrils and stings a little, and I love it. Rainy October days when the smell of wet leaves are all around and the chill of the season is in your bones - those are the most compelling days of the year for me.

- Change in general. Earlier this month when I was home - was that just this month? It seems like three - I made a list of things I needed to be happy. It was a really short list. There wasn’t a lot on it. It doesn’t take much to make me happy, honestly. Show me a beautiful piece of fanart and I am ecstatic for a year. Give me three good songs to listen to and I dance around in public and flail and am generally a huge dork. But a happy dork.

- New jobs. I have one. :) I feel like a real grownup and don’t know what to do with myself. My new job is with an internet design and database company that was recently acquired by this national corporation that’s very close to being a billion-dollar enterprise. My office is full of computer geeks and every month the employees get together and have a gaming night. One of the coders writes Smallville fic. Sadly gen, but I think this is the right place for me. :D I will basically be traveling around the country helping people learn to use our software, which sounds like something I can ACTUALLY DO, WHO THE HELL WOULD HAVE THOUGHT.

:) I’m pretty happy about it actually.

- Wordpress. I am excited about the idea of having all my fic archived in a place that can get comments. Like LJ, basically, but I can also organize my fics the way I want, like an actual website, instead of having to rely on memories and tagging to do the job. Plus, no crappy Snap previews, no LJ sending me crap emails in my inbox every month that I can’t seem to get rid of because they defaulted them to be automatic for every account you own, which, for me is only like 15 or so.

- Writing. I am in a really interesting place with regards to writing right now. I just finished the longest fic I’ve ever written, for a fandom I’m not even in, and I don’t really care that it’s not exactly the kind of fic I normally write.

There’s something really freeing about just letting go and giving in to the urge to write without fear. I think that’s what’s different about me lately. I have no fear. I’m not afraid of my boss any more. I fucking burned a shirt!!! RAWR! I just …lately, I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid to just fucking do the things I want. I’ve been saying “No” more often. That’s really hard for me. I’ve been feeing guilty less. That’s *very* hard, haha.

I’ve been letting myself write the things I want to write, without regard to how it will look or what my fans will think, or whether or not anybody will take me seriously. That may be exactly what I need right now.

- Fandom. <3 I've been invited to be a guest speaker at the 2007 Unity
Conference at UNC next April, and I reeeeeally want to go. I would love for there to be a panel just called “GAYBLEDORE” because really, there should be a panel called Gaybledore just on principle, and also because of the cultural statement it says that the greatest wizard of our time has come out of the closet. :D In any case, whatever topics we get to hash out, I am so there.

- Scrabulous. I spelled “stob” the other day for like 30 points. stob.

Life is excellent.

Things that are bad.

- HAVING TO TELL MY BOSS I’M QUITTING. I’m not afraid of my boss, no, I’m really not. But. I kind of am. Specifically I’m terrified that my boss is going to eat my head tomorrow when I deliver my resignation letter, and even though I am giving 3 weeks notice instead of the standard 2, I have a feeling tutoring is going to completely fall apart without me. :/ The fact that I feel as guilty about that as I do is the reason that I’m leaving, to be honest. And it’s a very, very good thing.

- The end of the year. As years go, this one has been a really nice one. I am not ready for the holidays. But I feel more whole going into them than I have in a while. I feel really grounded right now. And I’m not looking forward to turning another year older, but even that, I think, is tempered by the fact that you’re only as old as you feel.

And seriously, when you go around listen to grown people singing things like “CRAZY CRAZY RAINBOW STAR!” and “BE SHINY!” it is really hard to feel like you’re growing up. :D

- Wordpress. for TWO DAYS I’ve been waged in a formatting war with my wordpress theme. I love this theme because of the customizable options, because I can list subpages automatically, and because of the cool slide navigation bar. :D

However, it seems I can’t, for the blooming life of me, figure out how to get it to correctly format spaces in blocks of text without hard-coding every single fic in my archiving so the spaces show up.

Those are a hell of a lot of <br> tags. :( Wordpress >:(.

It’s frustrating because it’s just so easy to post fic on LJ, and I really want to post fic here, especially my new one. Formatted. Nicely. With pretty spaces.

How are you guys doing? I feel bad, I haven’t uploaded music or anything for you all in a while. And I haven’t even sent a message to my Yuletide fairy. (HIIII YULETIDE FAIRY ILU I WANT HOT FUZZ SLASH RLY BAD BUT REALLY JUST ANYTHING WILL MAKE ME HAPPY!)

But I’ve been busy and I figure sooner or later being busy will pay off more. I can, I dunno, decide to finally sit down and write a novel and then buy fandom a lovely ipod with the proceeds. or something.

You know what?

Today is a lovely day.