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admin — Sun, 16 Dec 2007 17:15:11 +0000

This is just a test to see how the blog posting service functions from Dappad.com.

3 things I wish at this very moment:
- that i could afford to hire a maid, lol (actually, i probably *can* afford to hire a maid - hello christmas present for self?)
- that i could have a blog that was separate from livejournal, but also separate from fandom, but which people could still know was me and was somehow loosely linked to my fandom blog. HMMM. will have to think about that.
- that i had a cat. i could cuddle with it!

Also, right now, it is snowy and lovely outside and if the snow doesn’t melt then it might just be a white christmas. i love living here! - your chances of having a white christmas always increase exponentially. :D

The power of waffling.

admin — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:27:06 +0000

I’ve always said, repeatedly ever since I got my lj and started to engage with fandom, that I didn’t want to fragment my life. I don’t want to keep my real life and my fandom life separate; I don’t want to keep my real life friends separate from my online ones. The idea of even attempting to do that is ridiculous, because there’s so much overlap and because I’m so heavily engrained in internet culture as part of what I do actively in real life.

Working at probation was hard for me because I HAD to keep my fandom life out of my real life so I wound up doing things like locking my entire LJ, deleting entries when real life people found them, and signing up for Facebook as a J-pop idol and not myself, haha. It was all very frenetic and stressful.

But now I have a job where my co-workers write Smallville fanfic and call each other Lostheads. So, yeah. I feel free to unseparate everything once again, and it feels great.

Except. Except.

This whole LJ thing.

Ugh, this whole LJ thing. Should I stay or should I go? Should I attempt to turn my livejournal into something that can adapt into this new phase of my life, or should I just start over (the way, for example, Dorrie has so charmingly done, the way I have been trying and awkwardly failing to do here on this blog) and make something completely new?

And if I want to make a blog that is completely new, can I stand to lose that connection that I have had with my LJ community? I mean, the answer is really, really, no. But at the same time, with that sense of connectedness comes a sense of expectation, and I want to break away from that as much as from LJ specifically. But then - what are my options?

Can I have both?

I want both. I want to have LJ and LJ’s community and I want to have a space that feels self-contained, separate, apart, like starting over. Something not particularly tied to fandom, but specifically tied to me.

The tricky part is that I, at this point, can’t and don’t want to extricate myself from fandom. But at the same time, I want a blog that doesn’t come with fandom expectations.

So, to sum up:

1) I want a blog that doesn’t come with fandom expectations.
2) But I don’t want to separate out my life into fandom/real life
3) I want to keep my connections to my LJ friends and my fandom community on LJ
4) But I’m still quite upset and unhappy with the prospect of coming back to LJ itself.

So, yeah. I just don’t know what to do with myselllllf.

No really, I totally planned this.

admin — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 17:45:20 +0000

Things I absolutely am not going to do no matter what:

Dye my hair black and cut it like L’s
Dye my hair red and cut it like Light’s
Start picking up my phone using two fingers only and speaking while holding it a foot away from my face
Come back to LJ just so I can make a poll about whether I should dye my hair black and cut it like L’s
Write an intelligent academic essay about homosexualiy and Death Note and bondage and how Light is so totally the new Dead Lesbian
Write a long missive on how much Death Note sucks because it totally does, it totally sucks, but Light is hot, so hot, so very hot, and I am obsessed, because I am not obsessed and I don’t care and I’m not in stupid sucky Death Note fandom
Write an intelligent academic essay about how Takeshi Obata is a flaming homosexual
Dye my hair black and cut it like L’s

What I am going to do, absolutely going to do right now:

Stop looking at Shounen Jump Death Note spreads (more…)

It’s that time again, baby!

admin — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:34:55 +0000

It’s not protocol to deliver your speech 6 months before the awards ceremony, but I just want to thank Reena, Dana, and our techhie Dave for the hard work they’ve all put forth to create the new BBB Forums. They’re fantastic, and they’ve set the tone, I think, for how amazing this final round of the Big Bang is going to be.We’re extremely proud of this one, and we’re hoping you will all join us for this last round. <3 Follow the link to the forums and check us out!

admin — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 16:56:04 +0000

Will someone who speaks Japanese please tell me how to say “Dear Fujiwara Motoo and also Bump of Chicken,

You music has changed my life and made me a better person, I need your beautiful words in my soul forever, and your cover of ‘Hybrid Rainbow’ is the most gorgeous four minutes of anything that has ever existed on the planet. My favorite thing is to drive out to the lake at night, park on the edge, and listen to your music as I sit and watch the moon and the clouds and the water and think about life. It is like that. Please please please never stop.

Love,

Aja”

Though I don’t guess I need to know how to say “Aja” in Japanese.

I’m so serious. :( I was going to learn how to say “I LOVE YOU” in hiragana, but as its been two months and I still can’t get beyond the difference between ‘ka’ and ‘ga’, I don’t think I can wait. :(

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. <3

LOOK AT MY BAND

admin — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 13:47:56 +0000

LOOK AT MY BAAAAAND MY BEAUTIFUL BAND THEY HAVE A FAN

SERIOUSLY, THEIR MUSIC AND THE BEAUTY OF IT JUST RADIATES ALWAYS. THEY ARE WONDERFUL AND I LOVE THEM SO MUCH :(((((

THANK YOU FOR SHOWING ME THIS, SAMANTHA. :( ILU. ILU, FUJIWARA MOTOO.

AKIRA/HIKARU

admin — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 12:46:52 +0000

EVERYONE GO LOOK AT THIS.

I AM THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON EARTH.

WHO HAS TOUYA JUST LOST TO, DO YOU THINK? PLEASE FEEL FREE TO ELABORATE ELABORATELY ON THIS SUBJECT. OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH, THEY ARE MY OTP OF OTPS. I’M GOING TO BE GOOD FOR NOTHING ELSE ALL DAY BUT LOOKING AT THIS PICTURE AND GOING

HERE I WILL EVEN GIVE YOU AN LJ LINK. JUST GO LOOK GO LOOK.

Q,YOU ARE AMAZING AND FANTASTIC AND BRILLIANT, AND IT IS TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE FOR THE GOBAN TO BE THAT HIGH OFF THE FLOOR IN GROUP TOURNAMENT AND EXHIBITION MATCHES LIKE IN THE YOUNG LIONS TOURNAMENT AT THE END OF THE MANGA. I CAN’T STOP ALL CAPPING. THIS POST IS A NIGHTMARE. BUT I CANNOT APOLOGIZE FOR IT BECAUSE LOOK, JUST LOOK AT MY BEAUTIFUL FANART.

BEAUTIFUL WEEPING TOUYA AND HIS STAUNCH BEAUTIFUL BRILLIANT PILLAR OF GO SUPPORT ARE MIIIINE.

THEY ARE ALLLLLL MINE AND YOU CANNOT HAAAAAAAVE THEM.

MINEMINEMINEMINEMINELOVELOVELOVEHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY

like meat

admin — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 06:30:44 +0000

this says so much about where my headspace is lately. ♥

in other news, i watched Samurai Champloo this weekend. Loved it. loved it. Read Samurai Champloo fic in all variations of the OT3 today. I think this is the first time I’ve ever actively shipped a trio. But god, they all just love each other so much. I didn’t know that sort of dynamic was irresistible to me, but maybe it is, a little.

Also irresistible to me? Gay serial killers. And stoics with glasses.

And i’m starting to wish my anime kinks weren’t so predictable.

Do they make a patch for that?

admin — Sun, 11 Nov 2007 02:54:15 +0000

Me: i’ve had it. i have had it! YOU AND I ARE QUITS, LIVEJOURNAL. I MEAN IT THIS TIME.
LJ: Whatever. Three months and you’ll be crawling back. You always come crawling back.
Me: THAT’S WHAT YOU THINK. SEE THIS? THIS IS THE FLAMING SIGN OF MY COMMITMENT TO JUSTICE!
LJ: …you realise that shirt’s not actually on fire.
Me: OH, SCREW YOU. GOODBYE FOREVER, LJ.
LJ: yeah, yeah, don’t let the new portal blind you on the way out! (more…)

Bump of Chicken: essentials, p. 2.

admin — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 03:40:34 +0000

This playlist is sadly lacking because it only has one song from Yggdrasil, the most beautiful album of all time. You should just download the album here (right-click/save), change the .boc to .rar and listen forever.

1. Harujion

2. Kudarenai Uta ♥

3. Special Song ♥♥♥♥

4. Everlasting Lie (Acoustic version)

5. Melody Flag ♥

6. Hokiboushi (I think - Track 2, at any rate)

7. Stage of the Ground BEST INTRO EVER

8. Namida no Furusato

9. Wasshoi (Hidden Track)

10. Makkana Sora wo Mita Darou Ka

11. Bench to Coffee ♥

12. Jyoushaken (”Right to Ride”) ***this is the only one off Yggdrasil I’m including - it’s so fucking awesome that I couldn’t not put it on here. ♥♥♥

13. Cheers - To Become Flowers (Hidden Track). God their joke tracks are wonderful and amazing :D :D :D: D