Protected: Love Under Will.
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Protected: sam: will the armchairs spin around like animated gifs?
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Protected: this sign, this fate takes the path you didn’t choose.
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Protected: Harry Potter Recipes!
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“…i wish i was a queen…” (lurves me some STE yo)
Adi has dedicated her pic Sexy Seeker to me. Fuck. It’s such a beautiful picture. She has so much talent. Why in the hell am I the one who got that dedication? You guys really don’t know me at all. *sighs* But I’m really really …she just totally blew me away with that. And then last night, Geralynn was… *shakes head* you guys just really don’t know me at all. I’m not. that. nice. I mean, there’s a reason I’m a Slytherin. There’s a reason I’m convinced that Harry is dark because Harry is dark, not because he’s connected to the darkness that is Voldemort. Half the time I’m tempted to tell people, stay away from me, because all the people I’ve truly loved have wound up wanting nothing to do with me. There’s a reason for that. *sigh*
*smiles* but thank you anyway. *smiles* that dedication really means a lot to me. And Geralynn, I won’t forget all those things you said anytime soon, even though I don’t really agree with a word. Thank you both. *hugs*
Things I Need To Do Today But Probably Won’t:
1) send chapter 9 to Franzi to beta (she’s probably ready to kill me for taking so long, since she, like everybody else, seems to consider the last chapter of LUW a cliffhanger.)
2) clean, vacuum, yadayadayada
3) do RQ’s? hmph. I don’t get this. Why can’t chris leave me alone? if she’s going to get mad at me, yell at me, and then refuse to accept my apology, why the hell does she have to keep trying to make me feel *worse* by upbraiding me all over the place for not answering RQ’s? Fuck. People, I’m an RQ Babe, dammit! I’m not leaving you. I’m *not*. How many times do I have to scream that to the skies? just…just leave me alone about it already. *sulk*
4) come to that I should probably write chris back and tell her that no, i wasn’t trying to spread blame, i was trying to be honest, and i’m sorry that wasn’t enough for her because i really still do consider her kinda like the big sister i never had. *sigh*
5) write chapter 13. actually, I might actually do this today. You never know.
6) write Spring back, Spring, my wonderful friend from the vestiges of my days as a Jane Austen fangirl. dude. Nancy. You’d like Spring. A lot.
7) write morgan back.
write the other morgan back. *grin* And I need to have my brain thoroughly in place for *both* Morgan emails because you guys both, to steal and alter Tom’s Homage To Veronica, make my brain bend in cool directions. 
dudes, I was talking about chapter 11 (my favorite chapter) of LUW last night with Nance and realised just *how* emotionally intense that chapter is. That’s probably why a) i cried writing it, and b) it is my favorite. Chapter 12′s almost as intense in spots but Chapter 11…damn. 17 pages of angst central. I didn’t know I could do that. Nancy, I’m sorry you tried to slit your wrists. *solemn nod* *smirk*
Stuff I Accomplished This Week (which has nothing to do with real life, cause I’m not talking about that right now):
1) wrote my outline for LUW part 2. It’s turned into a triptych by the way.
2) finished revising chapter 9! yay! thank you Erica!!! I was just waiting on you to tell me it was okay! *hugs you soooo hard* I hope your day was better. much much better. And now I think I’ve produced something that is true both to what I wanted and to my readers’ expectations. Hallelujah.
3) wrote one more paragraph of chapter 13. believe me. this is a big accomplishment.
4) um.
5) well. …
Okay, so I need to work on that whole achievement business. Oooh!!! I know!! I know! I finally got to talk to Al! *grin* I’d been wanting to do that just about every day since I read “Fairytale.” *grin* Fucking finally. Oh, and I persuaded him to download IM, which makes me damnhellass cool yo, although the fact that I also had to download Y!M may be considered a step backwards. But a few of us had a nice chat yesterday at D101. that was nice.
Angela Ann, I love you.
car seats”. *Ahem*
–Angela
Veronica, I love you too. *hugs* I want RQs today. I’m in such an RQ mood.
Cathy! I’m talking to you!! Yay!!
*sigh* why do I feel so down today when I’m surrounded by evidence of love??? *sigh*
Aja: we roq.
Erica: we roll.
Erica: we *on* a roll
Aja: we got soul!
Erica: a nice, tasty, oven-warmed roll with fresh buttah. *grin*
Aja: or a nice MLT where the mutton is *insert quote i don’t know*. they’re so perky. i love that.
Erica: perky! lol. is that, um, princess bride?
Aja: yes!
Erica: awright!
Aja: daamn!
Erica: *as you wish*
Aja: you are in da zone. (lurrrve that movie)
Erica: (lurrrve Cary Elwes when he was that age)
Aja: i know!!! he’s still cool now but then….mmm.
Erica: yeah. Ah, for a Farm Boy of me very own…
Aja: who was it i planned a nice PB crossover with? Draco was going to be Wesley…
Aja: and Harry was going to be Inigo cause he already had the scars and the curly mussy hair
Aja: and Ginny was going to be buttercup
Aja: but at the last scene wesley and inigo were just going to run off together
Erica: aw, but then we’d have to slash the story around so that wesley and inigo go off to be the dread priate roberts and his loving husband
Erica: and buttercup decides that fezzik doesn’t loom so bad, after humoperdink…
Aja: we could do that! inigo could be the first mate. cause dude, Ginny could stay back at the castle with queen macconagall and king dumbledore.
Erica: except, unless hagrid is humperdink…
Aja: hagrid could be fezzik. he’s got the size.
Erica: i meant that.
Voldemort99: who’d be humperdink?
Erica: or, we could revive the Sicilian and she could get together with him
Aja: lockhart, maybe?
Aja: dude, the sicilian rocked.
Erica: Lockhart, yes!
Aja: you know there was something going on between them on that boat 
Erica: And Lucius is the 6-fingered-man
Voldemort99: oh yeah!
Erica: i love the Sicilian.
Aja: totally. Vizzini.
Erica: yes. vizzini.
Aja: who’d be a good Vizzini.
Erica: and the Weasley parents are Miracle Max and the witch Valerie…
Aja: oh, totally. i can just see them.
Erica: um. Sirius? Lupin… no…. SNAPE.
Erica: the potion and all!
Aja: *shrieks*
Aja: YES!
Aja: yes yes!
Aja: *scrambles to write this down*
Erica: and of course, Draco is the only one who could outsmart snape at the poison…
Aja: absolutely.
Aja: *snicker*
Erica: this is so the bomb.
Aja: …exactly.
Aja:
Erica: can;t you just see Sanpe standing in the dungeons saying to harry, ‘inconceivable, Potter. Inconceivable”
Aja: would harry have a spanish accent?
Erica: lol
Aja: humperdink needs to be voldemort.
Erica: he’d put one on, for fun.
Erica: yeah, agreed.
Aja: “hello. my name is harry potter. you killed my mother and father. prepare to die.”
Aja: perfect.
Erica: aww, yeah.
Aja: *raises the roof*
Erica: and, hey! yo!
Erica: inigo even has scars!
Aja: harry pretending to be spanish!! *giggles*
Aja: yes.
Erica: he does it to impress Draco.
Aja: that’s what got us started on the whole thing!
Aja: of course. oh my god, can you imagine the duel??
Aja the first duel between them? mmmmm
Erica: who is all so sexy in black, harry forgets he’s not really spanish at all.
Aja: are they wizards?
Aja: mmmmm.
Erica: hmm, dunno. I suppose they could be
Aja: *pants picturing Drake!Wesley*
Aja: i like them with swords though.
Erica: *wants a Drake!Wesley for herself*
Erica: yeah, true.
Aja: and wesley’s so jaded.
Erica: I think with swords rather than as wizards keeps the right amount of PB-nature in there.
Aja: i can totally see draco saying “life is pain, highness!”
Erica: trelawney is the woman in buttercup’s dream, when she dreams hse’s already married…
Aja: and the forbidden forest can house the ROUS’s and act as the Fire Swamp!
Erica: Oh, yeah!
Erica: Centaurs of, erm…unusual size…
Erica: or, as there already are, Spiders of Unusual Size
Aja: *cackling ensues*
Aja: maybe we could totally slash it and Ron could be buttercup instead of ginny.
Erica: *grins maniacally*
Aja: that way it’s ron who ends up with snape! lol!
Aja: has that ever been done before?
Erica: hehe! now that would be something…but what would Voldie want with Ron?
Aja: oh, ouch.
Aja: ron would resemble that remark.
Erica: I was just thinking that. We should search ffn for Ron/Snape fics, lol.
Aja: *goes to do so, cackling like mad*
Aja: dude, i tried to look up Voldemort and he’s not even a friggin character on the list there!
Erica: is hermione in this at all? who could she be? or, she and ron (or she and Ginny!) could be Miracle Max and Valerie…
Erica: aw, man. What does ffn know, anyway?
Erica: is Riddle in there?
Erica: and who, oh who, will be the “pwiest”?
Aja: colin creevy.
Erica: Yes! I love it!
Aja: or maybe that could be lockhart!
Aja: Wuv. Twu wuv…
Erica: mm, yeah, it could… or, “qui…qui… quirrell”
Aja: hahahaha! : even better~!
Aja: and ron and herm would make a great Max/Valerie
Erica: “mmmmmmmmmaririage… we, we, we are ga, gathered here today…”
Aja: now i’m picturing Hagrid making rhymes.
Erica: yeah, i can *see* Herm screaming “I’m not a witch, I’m your wife!” then going “well, Ok, so i am a witch, but still, that’s no excuse to treat me like a house-elf!”
Erica: *grin*
Aja: we gotta get more H/Dness in somehow.
EricaG: the Cruciatus Machine
Aja: ooh. yes.
Aja: lucius torturing his own son!
Aja: think how well that would play into the whole abused!draco cliche
Erica: when Inigo and Fezzik rescue Wesley from the machine
Aja: yes. Inigo chooses a different method of reviving him.
Erica: and instead of inigo’s whole ;that scream is the sound of someone truly in love whose beloved is about to marry another” stuff, it’d be… “i’d recognize the creams of my beloved anywhere” or somesuch.
Erica: oh, yes. But we still must fit in Miracle Ron.
Erica: creams. screams. heh. lol.
Aja: heheheehe.
Erica: and all that part when inigo has to carry wesley around…
Aja: *just lost it as the implications of all the times when wesley screams/creams sank in*
RainsongEG: *disolves in inane giggles*
Aja: *does likewise*
Aja: *pictures Hagrid’s accent on fezzik*
Erica: and then in the end, D and H ride off on the same horse, and hagrid gets a horde to himself, and Ginny goes off with a revive dVezzini – that’s where we could use Miracle ron, maybe?
Aja: maybe they can find a pair of specially enchanted broomsticks.
Aja: yeah! Miracle Ron can revive Snape.
Erica: “My way, ‘tian’t verra sportmanlike, now, is it, Pr’fesser?”
Aja: wonder what Snape’s big thing would be?
Erica: mm?
Aja: sorry, that didn’t come out right
Erica: oh, of course. three broomsticks, though. lol.
Aja: you know–the big thing he’s got that’s worth living for.
Aja: defense against the dark arts?
Erica: what his *other* big thing would be?
Aja: yes.
Aja: *dying*
Erica: hmm…. saving Harry, possibly?
Erica: or, that he *never knew* true love?
Aja: oooh.
Aja: that’s a good one.
Aja: kinda depressing but good.
Aja: and then maybe ginny’s there when she hears him say it–
Aja: and she falls in love on the spot.
Erica: Ron’s all for letting the git stay dead, but Herm gets all weepy and wants him to have the chance to find someone special.
Aja: (cause she’s brainless you know, and that’s what brainless-type ginnys do)
Aja: of course!
Erica:
Erica: or, he can be the one who rescues her from Voldie’s castle, the one who actually grabs her, etc.
Erica: he can do the whole “to the pain” scene with Voldie, even?
Aja: oooh.
Aja: so then where are wesley and inigo?
Erica: while Harry and Draco are off battling The Six Fingered Man
Aja: does wesley help him catch him then? oooh.
Aja: nice.
Aja: i love it.
Erica: hmm. Yeah.
Aja: think of the sex they’d have after that! 
Erica: cos they *both* have it out for him, since he kileld Harry’s parents, but he tortured Draco.
Aja: wait a bit.
Erica: ok
Aja: why does draco have the hots for ginny to start with again?
Erica: who says he has the hots for her to begin with? they can have grown up on the same farm or something, and he’s just all chivalrous in wanting to get her away from Voldie?
Aja: really?
Aja: would draco be that nice? maybe oooh…
Erica: i dunno. gotta think on it some more.
Aja: maybe voldemort wants her to lead him to the dread pirate roberts’ hideaway
Aja: and so he kidnaps her….
Erica: yeah… because the “pirate” roberts is really the head of the revolutionary anti-voldie resistance
Erica: because he *thinks* draco has the hots for her
Aja: so Draco’s just like, fuck you, you pig, and decides to steal her back and flip Voldemort off. but then he falls for Inigo.
Aja: i mean, for Harry,
Aja: yeah!
Erica: and draco, knowing she’s in that predicament cos of him, *has* to go get her
Aja: and decides to go get rid of him once and for all.
Aja: exactly, and then maybe once they do that they can just defeat voldemort and Dumbledore can rule.
Erica: and Harry’s in with Snape and Hagrid trying to track down the pirate roberts to get him on their side
Erica: little do they know he already is
Erica: and so they go along with Voldie’s kidnap plan, as spies.
Aja: exactly. then why did they kidnap ginny?
Erica: lol! Spy!Hagrid!
Aja: but ginny (tee hee!) knows there’s some good in all of them.
Aja: cause she’s annoying that way
Erica: “i shouldn’t ‘ve told you that”
Voldemort99: you are killing me!
Erica: yep.
Aja: i’m keeping my neighbors awake, i know i am.
Aja: *snicker*
Erica: they go along with the kidnap as an attempt to lure Draco out of hiding so they can convert him to their side. But they get a little carried away.
Erica: (“go ahead. wake the neighbors. they know how to use a silencing charm”)
Aja: (*smirk*)
Erica: hence the draco – vs – Snape potion scene.
Aja: maybe they think draco is in league with voldemort and has figured out that they’re on the other side
Aja: *still drooling over the first sword duel*
Erica: Where draco, not knowing they’re on the right side, cos they’re idiots and harry dueled him and all, ends up tricking Snape into drinking the Draught of the Living Death or something.
Erica: yeah, that’s it!
Aja: ooh. of course. so he’s just petrified.
Aja: so it’s easier for Miracle Ron to bring him back to life.
Aja: *giggling*
Erica: and Harry and Draco try some verbal sparring in the duel, but harry gets so confused he doesn’t *realize8 that D’s trying to say he’s on the same side as them.
Erica: Miracle Ron! lol!
Erica: I can’t wait to see it
Aja: so he goes back to vizzini with the report that they were wrong and draco knows their secrets.
Aja: clueless Harry! yay!
Erica: Harry’s too busy fending off sword blows once Draco switches hands.
Erica: but he’s not too busy to notice how sexy Draco is in his nice black fencing outfit. Draco is less easily distracted, though no less impressed with Harry’s own…. physique…
Aja: and right before that happens when they’re cornered, harry says, “i know something you don’t know—” *smooch!*
Aja: “I swing to the right too.”
happy st. patty’s day!!!
“If they can dye this river green today, why can’t they dye it blue the other 364 days a year?” –The Fugitive
Why I Never Get Anything Written:
ChinaWolf: have you seen – only know the old title – Liasons Dangerouse….
ChinaWolf: Ryan Phillipe?
ChinaWolf: he’d make a good Draco
ChinaWolf: wow, that guy has _short_ hair
VanityFair: michael rosenbaum is TOTALLY bald. *drool*
VanityFair: bald guys just have…so much more sex appeal, because they’ve gotten this whole “caring what other people think” out of the way and just trusted themselves
VanityFair: ooh, he’d be a nice draco!!!
ChinaWolf: *drool*
VanityFair: yeah, i could see that on my bed.
ChinaWolf: makes you wanna jump in the bed
ChinaWolf: Let’s say we share him, then send him to Alex who likes him, too
VanityFair: ooooh! i can definitely handle that!
VanityFair: alex likes him?
VanityFair: *likes alex’s taste in men*
ChinaWolf: yup
ChinaWolf: DID YOU DOUBT THAT BEFORE?
ChinaWolf: LOL
VanityFair009: lol. good point.
~~~~~
Aja: awww!!! lex wants clark!
Fran: Maybe they get it together and that is why they end up hating each other
Aja: i think from what i see that the issue is trust.
Aja: just like H/D. the reason lex turns is because clark won’t trust him with the truth of what he is.
Fran: that’s an interesting angle on the H/D friendship – if Harry turned him down where would it lead?
Aja: that’s just it. harry *did* turn him down.
Aja: in the very beginning.
Aja: so now, as they get older, …are they destined to stay on two different paths?
Fran: Oh, I see what you mean. I was thinking that if they got together and Harry then didn’t trust him enough
Aja: no, i think that they definitely want one another (lex/clark) but clark won’t trust lex enough to make it happen.
Aja: so lex has no reason not to give into his darker side.
Aja: so the question for H/D is, can they reconcile? can harry possibly keep drake from turning to the dark side? how would that happen?
Fran: Yes, interesting. And probably the real point of both our stories.
I have a question for anybody out there who happens to be a reader of LUW. This is for my personal neuroses only, since the chapter’s already written and i’m just trying to second-guess myself into re-writing it.
The Question: Based on what you know of LUW Harry and Draco, what do you predict will happen in the next chapter?
a) more fighting like hell
b) more snogging, followed by more fighting
c) more fighting, followed by more snogging
d) passionate lustful lurid sex
e) calm rational conversation wherein they decide to take it slow and just be friends.
*stares at list.* yeah. i’m smirking at that last one, too.
*crash*
Read Moreit’s 8:20 am. Why am I still awake?
I‘m still awake because I:
1) had too much caffeine. yay carbonated beverages! (Sex is fun. Sex is fun in the sun. Dr. Suess meets Dr. Spock. *wink at geralynn*)
2) was talking to Fran, who did a *wonderful* beta of chapter 9 of LUW for me. And now I see she’s remiss as a result. I am SO sorry for causing you to lose sleep, Fran. *throws roses at your feet* But my fic thanks you deeply. I thank you. You’re wonderful–and I’ll say it again, you are an amazing writer. You write with such intensity and emotion and real sincerity. I admire you and your writing more than you could possibly know.
3) was talking over all the evil sides of Tom Riddle til just about ten minutes ago with Nancy, whose fic (yay!) now has its own review board at schnoogle.
Who knows, it may even be posted now. Which is something I’m very excited about, since I haven’t read the latest chapters in about a month, or more. The new fic is entitled Someone To Know Me Too Well, and even if the title weren’t directly taken from one of my favorite Sondheim songs, I’d still be proud because Nancy has worked so hard and put so much of herself into this fic. Congrats, Nance.
4) have been mulling over the possibility of submitting to be a Picker for Fic Alley. I love the idea. I *am* a professional theatre critic; how can I not love the idea of reviewing fan fic? But the thing is when I read a story I really like all my critiquing instincts (which I save for the very few people are are brave enough to let me beta their fics–Antenora, I hope you know what you’re getting into) fall by the wayside and I just want to squeal over and over, “eee!”
Actually the better a fic is the more it brings out my reviewing instincts. But I have no idea where I’d even look to find my 25 reviews–do reviews for various chapters of the same story count? Lol. I suppose I could always go write a bunch in the next few days, or would that be cheating? Maybe I can submit the reviews I’ve written for the local newspaper as part of my 25? *hopeful grin* But really, I’d probably be better off just being the passionate fic reccer I am (Read The Losing Side! Read Durendal! Read the M Series!) and not bothering. *cackle* I’m sure there are other ways for me to serve Fic Alley. Lol, although I have to admit that particular way would be right up *my* alley.
5) And the best reason I’m still awake: Erica!!! I’m going to meet Erica!! Whoo hoo! I swear, she and I are like, hooked up by the furgin Psychic Hotline. Cathryn’s coming to stay for an entire fortnight (<--one of aja's all-time favorite words, and dammit, i actually get to USE it here! Whoo hoo! A fortnight's vacation!) and we're going to go spend a few days in Chicago while she's here. Well, guess who *else* just happens to be in Chicago in the SAME DAMN WEEK?! Woo!! I'm so psyched about this trip now, and Cathryn's stay. I got to talk to Erica (aka Dancing Rain for those on the Guns & Handcuffs) for the first time tonight and just like we always suspected there was much mutual giddiness and squeals and unison adoration. We have, I swear, one brain. And we're going to meet!)
Nice things about today (yesterday rather):
1) LUW 8 reviews.
2) I finally caught up a little on the SCUSA thread.
3) Michelle sent me pictures of my cat! Awww!!! Veronica, wait til you see pics of Weasley!!!! Awwwwww!!!
4) I got done with just about everything I said I was going to do yesterday, except for the two biggest things.
5) The RQ had an impromptu falling-out/bonding session. I really don't know what's going on with that place lately. I have a vague feeling it's all my fault. (Yeah, I know, stick a Latin name on me and call me Holy Trilogy! Draco)
Bad things about yesterday:
1) still need to buy catfood
2) still need to review AR 4 for Ginny, as well as finish up all the other odds and ends
3) The RQ disentegration may not be my fault but the fact that Chris is upset with me most certainly *is.* Do you ever get the haunting suspicion that you're really as bad a friend as you've always suspected you really were, despite all your efforts to be something good and noble? See, this is why I feel so strongly connected to Harry and his inherent Slytherin darkness. It’s always there. Inescapable, no matter how much he tries to deny it. I relate. I relate. Except I don’t even deny it. Nancy was asking how I could get into Tom Riddle’s head so well. I laughed, “I just give in to my inner Heir of Slytherin.” The one in all of us.
4) …uh, that’s really it. whoo.
was that a yawn? yep. i’m going to sleep til the cat wakes me up by leaping ontop of my head, then go out to the lake and write for the rest of the day. It’s a beautiful morning outside my window. The windows are all open and it’s very chilly, but very invigorating too. Maybe i’ll just stay awake–or better yet, take a pen and write until I fall asleep…
L’chaim…
starlight express, you must confess
are you real, do you care?
starlight express, starlight express,
I need you to be there.
to days of inspiration, playing hooky, making something out of nothing: the need to express, to communicate
what’s hard is simple, what’s natural comes hard; maybe you could show me how to let go–lower my guard; learn to be free…
Read MoreProtected: Dude…
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