so tonight i’ll sing a song for all my friends

ways in which i am cheating my livejournal ban:
- continuing to use semagic to write entries in because it’s endlessly better than a browser script of any variety
- answering people when they ask stupid questions on rackets, it’s like i just can’t stop myself even though i handed the group over to Wonapalei and company. :/
- uploading pictures to my picture account, because Semagic makes that easier than anything else on earth. And someone told me it would just be depriving LJ of bandwidth because I’d only be hotlinking from other sites anyway.
- RSS feeding ljs even though this is still confusing and scary, and even though commenting is out.

I think I forced myself to leave LJ because I needed a disconnect and I wanted one. And now I have one. It is making me restless and fidgety. To say that I am feeling avoidant is a major, major understatement - I have 59 unanswered emails in my inbox and at least 3 communit - no, 4 - fandom projects i’m deliberately hiding from.

This all looks, on the surface, like so much immaturity and emotional distress. I know that. But it’s not. It’s turbulence, rather - a change happening inside me for once rather than being done to me. At some point this will all straighten itself out and I will know where to go from here, and what I want.

In the meantime, PICSPAM :D.

the lake on a sunny day in may.

New Orleans’ skyline from our hotel room, another less sunny but equally fine day in May.

Lake, lake.

French Quarter, French Quarter.

the New Orleans Aquarium! I loved it here!

As witnessed by all the pics i took.

Fishermen on the lake! This is maybe the best view of the entire lake, btw, you have to hike out to a point and then there’s this overlook that lets you see water in all 3 directions. It’s lovely.

Fish and beautiful beautiful coral! Unfortunately in glass.

Someone wrote ‘harry loves ginny’ on the Aquarium magnetic notepad during Phoenix Rising’s excursion there. What was I to do but correct this heinous mistake?

Otter! with Frisbee!

Phoenix Rising! far left is Melissa Anelli of TLC, then Cat ♥, then Henry, then - I have forgotten who the lady on the right is, but she was from Sugar Quill.

it was such a beautiful evening.

And they were such beautiful fish!

i actually took like 10 more pics of the anemone and jellyfish, i think Erica thought I’d gone nuts. But they were hypnotic, and so beautiful. I am entertained by very small things. I love that I spent an entire week in New Orleans and I have naught to show you but pictures of fish.

This was my one and only image of the city - at night coming back from the aquarium - that’s Erica and Mad Maudlin, I think? I took more but my blurry phone camera failed me utterly, and my video camera (which IS MY BEST FRIEND) was full with footage for Project Leve.

i didn’t really go to the ball because I couldn’t see (i tried, but it was a blurry, techno-filled disaster. I think I wound up macking on Ginny Weasley - i couldn’t see anything but her flaming red hair, alas). - but look! it is a masque!

This is back at the lake. Dave insisted I take this picture. I guess I felt my friends needed to know that I ♥ Sam. I hope that you, Sam, are satisfied with this token of my affections.

It seems that I am watching Death Note, which makes me angsty because not only is there no need for me to watch Death Note, but there’s really no need for me to be reminded about the fact that I love L and desperately want L/Light death note au smut where Light seduces L to becoming Kira with him and they have smutty death god sex and mind games. There is no need for me to be reminded of this at all.

I am also watching Gankutsuou. I like it very, very much. I started watching it right before Deathly Hallows came out, and I was racing through it and then somehow found myself watching Star Trek eps and adding KirkSpock zines to delicious. it has been a very difficult time for me. it feels good to be back in familiar territory, where the space aliens are japanese cartoons with emo pasts and not old jewish men who sing songs about hobbits. Note, however, that this does not mean I have stopped watching star trek.

Oh, no. It does not.

I HAVE ENTIRE SPIELS PREPARED FOR WHY EACH OF THESE GIFS ARE THE GAYEST THINGS EVER, APART FROM THE WHOLE, WELL, JUST LOOK AT THEM, BUT THIS ONE -

- THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE. I JUST KEEP WATCHING IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN. THE UNNECESSARY ARM-SQUEEZING. THE TANGLED LIMBS. THE MUTUAL PROTECTIVENESS. ARM SQUEEZING. CRAP I CAN’T STOP. I HATE THIS SO MUCH, I FEEL LIKE MY LEVEL OF TASTE IS NOT ONLY DROPPING, IT IS PLUMMETING FROM SPACE; MY IQ, NOW A BURNING HEAP OF TWISTED METAL DISENTEGRATING IN THE ATMOSPHERE. :(

Today I called my mom and she was like “what was that convention you went to last week?”

Me: “It was an anime convention BUT I HATE ANIME, SO.”

:|

I promised Sam I would take a picture of the box dude. I chickened out at first but then Sam begged me and so I gathered up my courage, and this is the result. Behold!

Okay, there was this adorkable gang of Death Note cosplayers. Ryuk was fantastic and of course just off-screen, and I couldn’t get both his amazing costume and Light’s insolent slouch all in one crappy cameraphone frame. THEY WERE SO CUTE. I WAS ALL *_____* DEATH NOTE the whole weekend. Ugh. I HATE YOU DEATH NOTE. I DON’T EVEN LIKE YOU THAT MUCH, AND YET I LOVE YOU WITH A PASSION.

I also hate Naruto. I hate Naruto. I hate Naruto. I hate Naruto.

:|

mom: “I’m not sure an interest in anime is worthy of you.”

me: D: OH, DON’T WORRY, I HATE ANIME. D:

This is the front cover of the Hikago doujinshi Daisy sent me. It is so seriously adorable. i tried to take a picture of my favorite page, but my phone camera hates me.

I have honest-to-god never been to a sushi bar til last month. My friend went there for his birthday. We all had a good time and the food was great. I mostly kept trying to get the chef, bless him, to acknowledge me when I went “:o SUGOI DESU!” and staring at the gorgeous brunette across the bar from me. I am so socially inept.

Showalter Fountain, a lovely evening in June.

I miss every one of you.

ETA: http://syndicated.livejournal.com/ajaonthego/profile?mode=full <— HOLY CRAP, THIS IS SO SURREAL. sadfk;la. who did this?

Sam nudged me 57 times today. :( I love you guys.