Heero tried not to wince at the familiar sound of someone shifting on the sofa behind him. That incessant scratching noise was getting on his nerves, and he tried to blank it out, gazing at the familiar screen of his laptop and the lines of green code running across it. He wasn�t actually doing anything particularly vital, only tweaking some old worm programs, but there was no way that he was going to admit it. He hated being watched; it reminded him far too forcibly of his training, making him twitchy. Heero clenched his jaw for a moment, then made himself relax despite the intermittent scribbling from behind him, and concentrate on the screen.
�Heero?� The voice grated inexplicably on his ears, and he ignored it � after all, he was at least pretending to be busy.
�Heero? Heero, are you listening to me?� Heero sighed, closed his eyes, and turned in his chair.
�Relena?�
�Heero.� She smiled at him, tipping her head to one side in what he thought might be an unconscious gesture. That smile made him a little uncomfortable, and he wasn�t quite sure why. It seemed too happy, blindly so, as though there wasn�t a war in progress and people dying at that very moment. It felt� inappropriate, he decided.
�There is a gala performance at the opera house tomorrow night,� the girl continued, still beaming. �I would like very much if you � and Quatre � could attend with the rest of the students.�
�Hn.� Heero took refuge in meaningless monosyllables, but she still took it as acceptance, and that smile became even wider as she rose from the sofa, closing whatever book she had been writing in and tucking it under her arm expectantly, cocking her head at him.
�I think I�ll retire for the night now��
Heero suppressed a sigh, closing the screen of his laptop and getting up to walk beside her. He knew from experience that if he didn�t acquiesce to her in this, he would be treated to sad, sorrowful stares for the next few days, and that was worse than the sighs and smiles. It was a small thing, after all, to walk with Relena and listen to her chattering on about whatever she was planning for the Sanc Kingdom now. He was rarely even required to respond; she seemed to take his grunts as whatever she chose them to mean with perfect equanimity.
They reached a branch in the corridor; one side led off towards the guest rooms where the students were quartered, the other towards the old palace and family wing. Relena paused a moment, smiling at him again. �Good night, Heero��
He knew that some response was required. �Good night, Relena.� Still, he almost dropped his computer in shock when she moved suddenly closer to him, putting her arms around him and pressing her body against his for a long moment. Then she was gone, while he was still trying to conquer the impulse to shove her away, to reach for a weapon. Heero stared after her rapidly retreating back for several moments, then shook himself reproachfully and continued on his way. It was definitely time to get out of this place.
This was very confusing, Heero decided, staring at the overly ornate ceiling above his bed. Relena � well, she was Relena. And she had hugged him. Heero had suspected for a long time that the girl was fond of him in some way, but this was the first time she had ever touched him in a way that was too intimate for mere acquaintances. At least, Heero thought it was. All the people he had seen hugging before had seemed to be close friends, or possibly lovers. Some had kissed, too.
Relena hadn�t kissed him. Heero thought he was glad of that, a little, because then he would probably have been even more confused. Being unexpectedly hugged was bad enough; he wondered what he was supposed to do now, how he was supposed to behave. Should he simply go on as before, or was that socially incorrect somehow? And what had Relena meant by the gesture? Was she just being friendly, or was she trying to make romantic overtures? Heero didn�t know.
He shifted on the bed, remembering the feel of her pressed against him. She had been soft, almost unexpectedly so; it had felt strange. She had been only the second person ever to have hugged him, and the feeling of Duo�s body against his had been very different. The other boy had been hard rather than soft; Heero remembered surprise that there could be so much muscle on that thin frame. He had been warmer, too, although that might just have been the chill of the nightmare-world that had settled into Heero�s flesh.
The main difference, though, seemed to be the way Heero himself had reacted to the embraces. Relena� she had been pliant and delicate-seeming and Heero had felt worried that he might accidentally hurt her somehow. She was stronger than him, but not physically, and she had clung to him in a way that made him strangely uncomfortable. Duo, in contrast, had been strong against him. Duo didn�t need Heero to protect him, he could take care of himself, and he had always treated Heero as an equal. He had felt comfortable with Duo�s arms around him; more than that, he had felt comforted.
Perhaps, Heero thought, it was simply that Duo was male, and Relena female. Duo was his friend, he had told him so, and Heero was beginning to suspect that Relena wanted something more from him. Although he had studied the biological and sociological aspects of human sexual interaction, it couldn�t make up for a childhood surrounded by machines and scientists and assassins. Reference materials and �net articles couldn�t tell him what intimacies denoted certain levels of friendship, or how to tell when someone was trying to make overtures towards him. Hitting on him, Duo had called it; Heero remembered the other boy leaning towards him in the cafeteria after he had glared another overly-familiar schoolgirl away, laughing and whispering to him: �She was so totally hitting on you, man!�
It didn�t matter, anyway. Soon, Heero would be gone from here, back to the war, and the walking dead didn�t need emotions. He turned over, pulling his gun from the small of his back and slipping it under the pillow after checking the safety was on. He couldn�t allow Relena to so easily affect him, he decided � and since she was needed for peace, he would just have to improve his self-control around her. Heero closed his eyes, concentrated on his breathing, and slowly initiated his sleep pattern, shutting out the confusing emotions along with thought and sensation.
That night, he dreamed. Memory intertwined with fantasy; he felt warm skin against his own, strong arms tight around him. Heero blinked, but the darkness was absolute. Hot breath made his skin tingle, fingers brushed the back of his neck and he shivered, caught up in sensation. A low laugh, soft and amused in his ear, and he knew that he should have felt threatened but somehow it was all so natural. The arms around him shifted, a strong lithe body pressing closer to him and sparking all sorts of new and intense feelings; Heero couldn�t keep from lifting his own arms, sliding his hands around a slender muscled back and pulling the other even closer. Breathing hitched, skin slid across skin, and Heero could feel the soft weight of a head resting against his shoulder, the wet heat of lips suddenly pressing into his neck, seeking higher�
When he woke, Heero had no memory of his dream beyond a faint, lingering sensation of warmth. Comfort. Three days later, he left for Luxembourg.
The shuttle was tiny and cramped, and the necessity of giving Sally private space tended to force Heero into company with Wu Fei more often than not. The other boy was quiet and introspective, at least around Heero, but it was the mere fact of another presence that bothered him. So when the inevitable happened, and Sally finally managed to tease Wu Fei into a shouting rage, Heero decided to take himself off to Zero�s cockpit and get out of the way for a while.
Things were coming to a head, he could feel it. The war, his life maybe. Heero had always thought himself perfectly resigned to not living out the conflict, had thought that he might perhaps even be glad to let it all end. Lately, though, his emotions had been whispering other things to him, other possibilities. The idea of living out the war, seeing his mission completed and peace reinstated� it was beginning to intrigue him. Ever since he had crash-landed in the Pacific, Heero had been experiencing the first stirrings of new and strange emotions, feelings he had found confusing and inexplicable, completely incompatible with his training. These new feelings � some of them were unpleasant, yes, painful and nervous and confusing, but they were his. No one had told him to feel this way, this wasn�t a mission or an order. The idea that there could be a part of himself that was outside what his training had made of him�
It was exciting. Heero thought he liked it, had come to like the thought that he might yet survive this war. He didn�t know what use there would be for a pilot and soldier in a time of pacifism � but he wasn�t the only one who would be facing such a future. There were thousands of OZ soldiers and White Fang rebels, and uses would have to be found for them. Then there were the other Gundam pilots. Quatre had a life and a family to return to if he survived the conflict, and Trowa had the circus, but Heero knew that Wu Fei had nothing and no one, and Duo� He wondered if Duo would return to the Sweepers, find work in the salvage that seemed so familiar to him? There would certainly be enough debris floating around in space to keep hundreds of people employed for decades�
Perhaps Heero himself could do something of the sort. He might be only a weapon, but he had skills other than killing. He could program and crack, pilot anything that could fly � he could protect people. It was possible � likely, really � that important people like Relena would need protection even in a peaceful world. Anyway, first he actually had to survive this mess that Romefeller and the colonies had created, and the odds on that were low at best.
Lowering himself carefully into the cockpit of his Gundam, Heero could feel the almost subliminal hum that meant that the Zero system was online � not active, but awaiting only his command to begin the primary interface and power up the suit�s systems. It was comforting in a strange way, something familiar, something that he could deal with. Perhaps it was ironic that the dangerous, mind-altering system felt so comfortable to him, when he could barely even deal with what others seemed to regard as �normal� emotions. Duo would probably have laughed, in that darkly humourless way of his.
Heero settled himself into the pilot seat, his body adjusting automatically to the smooth contours. He was reaching for the harness before he really thought about it, easy with the familiar movements, but after a moment he let his hands fall loosely to the armrests. He would be joining the other Gundam pilots soon, on Peacemillion � would return Trowa�s Heavyarms to him and pay off that debt, would meet Quatre again, and Duo. They would be working together, all five of them. Or trying to, anyway � Heero knew that he could work with any of them, separately, but he was a little afraid that they were all just too independent to pull together cohesively. He would probably have to figure out a way around that; he had the suspicion that they would need to co-ordinate their efforts soon enough.
The others were easy enough to work with; though Wu Fei could be a little temperamental, and Quatre impulsive, they were excellent soldiers even if they didn�t have his or Trowa�s training. Duo � well, Duo was complicated, but Heero was accustomed to the boy�s quirks; they had worked together the longest of any of them, discounting Heero�s month of comatose inactivity in Trowa�s caravan. Duo had laid into him for that, when they had met up again. Well, he had been too busy dealing with his own pain to get really worked up, but he had been angry. Had accused Heero of not caring enough about his friends to let them know he was still alive, let alone think twice about self-destructing.
Heero had been a little surprised. His friends? Duo was his friend, he accepted that, but Duo was a Gundam pilot too and would surely have done the same � and at that point Heero hadn�t known any of the other pilots. Had Duo meant Relena? Heero wasn�t sure she really counted as a friend � she was someone he protected, someone the world needed. She was important to him, yes, but more in terms of what she represented than as an actual person. The idea that a person could have worth because of who they were, not just what they were was a new one for Heero. The thought that others might value him in such a way� it skewed his whole view of the world. He liked it.
�Heero! Wu Fei!�
Heero turned at Quatre�s excited shout, seconds before a black-clad blur slammed into him with near bruising force, knocking him off balance. Fortunately, he had excellent reflexes and managed to grab a swift hold on the safety rail with one hand even Duo�s arms clamped about him, threatening to cut off his circulation. Heero yanked them both back upright instinctually, before the magnets in his boot-soles could disengage under the stress, his other arm awkwardly returning the enthusiastic hug Duo was giving him.
After a moment that was both too long and too short, the other boy pulled away, grinning hugely at him. �You made it without getting shot to pieces, huh?� For a moment, Heero flashed back to their first meeting, the blank burning pain of shot wounds in his arm and thigh� He dropped his hands back to his sides, feeling peculiarly uncomfortable again. It was almost the same kind of feeling as when Relena had hugged him, weeks ago � a little embarrassment, a little awkwardness, a strange kind of pleasure in such simple human contact. Almost; Relena�s embrace had made him freeze, uncertain, but Duo�s arms around him (again, Heero�s mind noted clinically) had produced a squirmy, entirely unfamiliar feeling of happiness that only left him feeling more awkward and embarrassed. Knowing Duo, that might have been why he had done it.
Heero followed quietly as Quatre began leading the others on a tour of the ship. Although he knew the original Peacemillion specs from his time in J�s laboratory, he could already see that whoever had finished the construction had made substantial modifications to the design. Quite impressive modifications, in places; the suit maintenance equipment was top-of-the-range, and Heero was left with an impression of familiarity. As they made their way out of the hangar bay, Duo dropped back a little to walk beside him. Neither of them spoke for a while, too busy listening to Quatre�s explanations, but it was a comfortable silence.
�Um, Heero �� Duo threw a brief glance at him, then returned his attention to the corridor ahead. �Space is kinda tight at the moment � you want to room with me like before? Otherwise you probably won�t get much more than a cubbyhole wherever they can find space��
Heero blinked. �All right.� Was it his imagination, or was Duo sounding uncharacteristically� nervous? �How long have you been here?� If Duo had enough room in his cabin for two people, but space was at a premium now, that must mean something.
Duo tucked his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling as he strolled along the corridor. Heero noticed that they were dropping a little behind the others, but he wasn�t bothered. �Ah, just a couple of weeks this time, but Howard knew I�d be back, so he kept my old room free for me.�
�So this ship belongs to the Sweepers?� That explained the familiarity of the design, Heero thought, and also the recognition on the faces of some of the technicians they had seen.
�Well, sorta.� Duo shrugged a bit, dropping his arms and kicking at the decking. �Howard built her, but then he gave her to that Zechs guy, except then he took off � it�s pretty complicated. Here, this way.� Duo turned off down a side corridor, kicking off from the floor and propelling himself forward in the low gravity. Heero disengaged his magnetics and followed, careful to stay out of the way of the other pilot�s feet. Duo floated to a halt outside a door, tucking and anchoring himself back to the deck, and Heero performed the manoeuvre himself without much thought; every child in the colonies learned to operate effectively in zero-G, and he had been far from an ordinary kid. He noticed, as Duo pressed his palm to the doorplate, that where a name and number-designation would normally be on a bay or cabin door, there was a painted white patch with �Kid� scrawled on it in what looked like magic marker. Obviously Duo had been associated with the Sweeper Group for a while, Heero thought, and it amused him.
Duo seemed to see that in Heero�s expression; he made a disgusted face and muttered something about Howard being worse than an overprotective parent. Heero wondered for a sad moment what it might have been like for him if Odin had lived � would their contract have lasted into his teenage years, or would he have been handed over to J�s clinical detachment regardless?
�Here you go.� Duo bounded into the room, his braid arcing through the air behind him, and Heero caught himself almost putting out a hand to touch it, utterly fascinated by the movement. Whereas Relena always seemed to call up images of Heero�s past, memories of a tiny, excitable puppy and the unexpected gift of a flower, Duo reminded him more of a cat � all lithe grace and swaying tail. Heero blinked in astonishment at the pictures that thought spawned, and blushed furiously, admonishing himself to pay more attention to reality. This was a war, after all.
The room really was surprisingly large, for a cabin in a space vessel, although Relena and other Earth dwellers would no doubt have found it tiny. There was a narrow desk along one wall, crowded with mechanical parts, some of which looked broken beyond repair, and data disks, with a computer terminal set into the wall. There were print-outs of mobile suit diagrams all over the available wall space, all of Deathscythe Hell, and an impressively high-quality blue-and-black flight suit laid out across the width of the bottom bunk. There was a second bunk jutting from the wall above it, narrower but looking much neater. Ladder rungs were set into the wall, and there was a door in one corner leading to a tiny private head; Heero could see a sonic shower unit and cleanser alongside the usual facilities.
�Hey, Heero, you mind taking the top bunk? I know it�s smaller, but it�s all made up, and there�s an alcove for storage that you could probably use for your computer�� Duo grinned at him, tentatively, and Heero realised that he really was nervous, but he looked attractive despite that. What would Duo have to be nervous about? This was still far more space than he had been expecting, and they had roomed together before.
�No. I don�t mind.� Heero looked at the flight suit. It was one of the new type, a pressure suit that must fit like a second skin. He wondered what Duo looked like in it. �That�s a very good suit.�
�Yeah, I know, Quatre had them made specially. Yours will be in Wing by now�� Duo trailed off, flushing a little and not meeting his gaze, and Heero wondered why. �Um, Heero, I�m glad you�re not dead, you know?�
Heero was quiet for a moment, absorbing that, then he offered a tentative smile that seemed to surprise Duo a little. �I�m glad you�re alive too. Duo.� He was; he felt it, like a strange uncomfortable clenching in his chest. The soldier part of him, the part Dr J had trained, was trying to tell him that this feeling was dangerous, a liability, but Heero ignored it. He would hope that Duo would stay alive, and maybe that would be enough. There would be an end to this soon, he could feel it.
Duo smiled at him, that wide happy smile that Heero remembered from before, the one he had thought inappropriate. That had been then, though. Now, the happiness on Duo�s face and the sparkle in his eyes � shining indigo eyes, a colour that belonged to no one else but Duo � struck something in Heero, and before he quite realised it he had stepped forward and put his arms around Duo.
Duo seemed startled, but when Heero didn�t do anything but stand there hugging him awkwardly (and beginning to feel foolish), he relaxed, bringing his arms up to hold Heero back. It was� comfortable, and after a while Heero felt the tension draining out of his limbs. He didn�t want to move at all, he just wanted to stay here forever with Duo holding him and neither of them saying anything. Heero thought that that probably meant something, but he wasn�t quite sure what, and in the meantime he probably should pull back now, because it didn�t seem like Duo was going to.
Duo�s eyes were dark, soft, and so was his expression, somehow. They just stood and looked at each other for a while, Heero not knowing what to say and wondering where all Duo�s words had vanished to.
Duo cleared his throat, sounding uncertain again. �Um, I guess we should get back to the others, huh? We probably all have stuff to talk about��
�OK.� Heero nodded, and tried out an uncertain smile of his own.
Heero was dreaming again. It was dark, and close, and arms were winding around him, hands caressing his skin. A familiar voice was whispering in his ear, soft amused words that made his body shiver with anticipation. The hands, the voice, the soft breath against his neck made him want things, things he didn�t understand. He reached out, hands contacting skin in the darkness, sliding around strong shoulders, tangling in a soft fall of hair, and he tugged those teasing lips up to his�
�and woke up, gasping.
It was very confusing. Heero had decided he needed to think about this. Quatre had come by earlier, looking for Trowa, and Duo had gone off with him, ostensibly to help find the quiet, solitary pilot but more likely to talk to Quatre. Heero knew that sometimes his own lack of social ability frustrated Duo. It was something he wished he could change, if only because of that.
Lately, Heero had begun to suspect that there was something between Quatre and Trowa, something more than the camaraderie of suit pilots who had worked together and who understood each other. Maybe something more than even a very close friendship. He remembered that Trowa had spoken of Quatre, when they had hidden out together. Only once, but considering how rare it was for Trowa to speak much at all, Heero thought it must mean something. And Quatre smiled more than ever when Trowa was there.
It was something he was having difficulty deciphering. If they had a relationship � they were only fifteen, sixteen years old. Heero wondered if that was old enough for two people to have a serious kind of relationship. If it was � he knew that he was abnormal, but was it then acceptable that he should be feeling these strange things?
It had started that time in Sanc, when Relena had hugged him goodnight. Heero had felt a little uncomfortable; he could not escape the feeling that she was looking for more than friendship, and he didn�t quite understand why. She was a friend, he supposed � she reminded him of that other girl, and so Heero found it difficult to treat her with indifference. Did she see that as an invitation to� romantic activities? He didn�t even have to think about that; the idea felt vaguely distasteful.
It was different with Duo. It always had been, as though the braided pilot was simply in a category all of his own. Best friend, maybe, but Trowa was a friend, and Quatre, and Heero didn�t think of them this way. Or dream of them, awakening with their names on his lips and phantom touches ghosting along his skin. Duo was a smiling, laughing bundle of energy in public, but Heero had seen underneath that mask a few times, and he knew just how sensitive the other boy really was. He didn�t want to harm Relena, but the idea of hurting Duo was simply abhorrent. The boy was strong, though, he could look after himself, Heero tried to reassure his confused mind. Duo didn�t need his protection, so why was he taken with the strange urge to throw himself between the other pilot and danger? That was a liability if anything was.
Duo was special. That was all that Heero could think. Special in his own right, and special to Heero. Heero wondered if this was what romantic feelings were supposed to be like. He had seen other couples in the past, he remembered watching with surreptitious guilt as boys and girls in movies and vid-shows walked together in parks, held hands, kissed each other. He had been confused by the emotions they showed then, but now he thought he might understand, a little. Heero thought he might like to hold Duo�s hand, although the idea of walking in a park with him � it was very nearly incomprehensible, outside his range of experience. And kissing � Heero could not remember being kissed by anyone. Ever. He wondered if it could possibly feel as good as all those books and films seemed to indicate. He wondered if Duo would want to touch Heero that way.
�or other ways, his body reminded him inevitably; those dreams had felt both comfortable and delicious, and Duo really was very attractive, with his wide indigo eyes and that long braid swishing against his back. Heero wanted to know what all that utterly impractical hair would look like loose, floating about the boy�s face�
Heero was a boy. This was an inescapable fact, and it was entirely possible that Duo might not be interested in doing romantic things with another boy. There was that girl he had talked about, Hilde something, and even if he did hug Heero in a way he couldn�t help but classify as nice, he wore a cross and the clothing of a Catholic priest. Heero didn�t know, and he had no idea how one was supposed to find out such things or talk about them. He had tried accessing materials on the �net, but most of what he found seemed to deal with more� sexual matters, and while it had been undeniably interesting, and he had filed the information away for future reference, he didn�t think that was really what he needed right now.
Heero looked up as the door swished open, and smiled at Duo, feeling himself blush ridiculously. It wasn�t even as though he had been doing anything, just thinking, and he felt somewhat betrayed by his previously obedient body. J would have had a fit, if he could have seen the way his so-called �perfect weapon� was behaving. Strangely, Heero thought he liked that idea.
�Hey, Heero.� Duo grinned up at him, tossing some new piece of metal onto the already cluttered desk. It looked like part of an old gyroscope system that had been left to rust too long. �What are you up to?�
Heero shrugged. �Nothing. Thinking.�
�Oh, OK.� Duo flung himself down onto his own bunk, and for a while there was a kind of comfortable quiet as they both stared up at the ceiling.
�So,� Duo said after a while, in that quiet tone of voice that seemed uncharacteristic until you knew him better. �You like that girl, huh?�
Heero frowned. What was Duo talking about? �What girl? Do you mean Relena?�
Duo laughed, quietly and without much mirth, it seemed. �Yeah, that�s the one. You keep rescuing her, you must like her, hmm Heero?�
Heero peered over the edge of the bunk, curious now. Their conversations had not taken this turn before. �I like her, I suppose. She has the strength to remain a pacifist even in these times; I hope she�ll be able to teach that to the Earth, and the Colonies. I also wish she would show some more intelligence, and stop needlessly throwing herself into danger. She follows me around.�
Duo laughed, looking up at him with his hands behind his head and his ankles crossed. �Yeah, I have to say I noticed that. Like a puppy.� Heero winced a little at that, the sudden image of the tiny broken body too immediate to ignore, and Duo frowned up at him. �Hey, Heero, you OK?�
�Yes.� Heero swallowed. �I�ve thought that too, that Relena is like a small dog of some kind. I doubt she�d appreciate the comparison.� He had made Duo laugh, and it sent a warm glow through him. Perhaps normal socialisation wasn�t so far outside his grasp after all. �You�re not like her,� he observed quietly. �You�re more like a cat, I think��
Duo blinked up at him in startlement, something indefinable in his face, and Heero felt a weird lurch in his chest. �You think I�m a cat?� His voice was low, almost a purr; it made Heero shiver a little. A good kind of shiver.
�Mm. A black cat.� Duo�s smile was suddenly blinding, and Heero couldn�t seem to stop the words that poured from his mouth. �I think Relena likes me. She watches me, and she has already hugged me. I�m afraid she�ll try to kiss me next, but I don�t want that. I don�t want to kiss anyone but you.�
The silence seemed to stretch through a series of dizzyingly long moments, as Heero watched the expression on Duo�s face change from amusement to frowning to startlement to sheer disbelief. �Heero?� he all but whispered, one fist clutching his braid so hard that Heero thought his nails must be embedding themselves in his palm, but the other reaching out, up. �Did you just�?�
�I like you. I want�� Heero let his arm drop over the side of the bunk, fingers dangling down to brush against Duo�s. It felt good, like the contact sent a tingling rush of sparks through him, and he couldn�t help but imagine what a kiss might feel like, if this was so good. Duo smiled up at him, all of a sudden looking deliciously wanton. Beautiful. Heero almost said so, but the words tripped themselves up before they reached his tongue.
�Come here.� Duo stroked his fingers gently over the skin of Heero�s wrist, grasping his arm and tugging lightly. Heero allowed himself to relax, rolling over the edge of the bunk and drifting downwards through air that felt thick. Duo was smiling, a smile that was just for him. It was wonderful. Heero experienced a dizzying rush of happiness, and managed to squash the little soldier�s voice that was nattering in the back of his skull, telling him that this was a bad idea, a risk� That didn�t have to be part of him right now.
Duo caught at his shoulders, pulling him down to sit on the bunk, sitting up beside him. Suddenly their faces were so close, and Heero swallowed a little, reaching out to capture one hand as Duo drew them back. The other boy�s fingers were warm in his, soft, although he could feel the calluses from tools and control sticks. Like his own. Duo was like him. It felt� right.
Heero looked into indigo eyes and felt the bottom fall out of his world as Duo leaned forward and brought their lips together. It was a small kiss, really, just a short brush of lips that sent a shiver through him, but as Duo pulled away Heero found that his eyelids had fluttered closed.
�Like it?� There was a definite purr in Duo�s voice now, and his fingers were stroking Heero�s palm ever so gently.
�Mmm�� Heero sighed, opening his eyes. It crossed his mind to wonder where all his control had gone, but it didn�t seem to matter. It didn�t matter at all. �More?�
Duo laughed and moved in again, speaking directly against his lips. �God, Heero, do you have any idea how badly I just want to push you down right now and do all sorts of wicked things to you?� His tongue flicked out against Heero�s bottom lip, and they both gasped, Heero unable to keep from parting his lips, inviting Duo back for more.
It was at that exact point that the peace of their moment was shattered by the blaring of the alarm sirens, and Howard�s voice issuing from the speaker overhead.
�Libra is sending out Mobile Doll troops!�
It was Duo�s voice he heard first. The blast field had whited out his sensors, and he was effectively flying blind, trusting Zero�s Gundanium shell to keep anything too drastic from happening to him. Duo�s voice reached his ears, though, exclaiming in delight, and as the others chimed in Heero realised with a peculiar sort of clarity that Duo was right. He really was alive, and the war was over.
�Mission� complete.� He tried the words out. They meant much more than simple success. They meant that there was peace, that Heero was no longer a soldier by necessity. They meant that his mind and body no longer belonged to scientists in labs, meant that those old men had no power over him. Heero was free. Free, and all he wanted to do was find Duo and kiss him some more.
Quatre�s halting voice came over the com. �Head for MO-2, everyone.� Heero realised that although Sandrock appeared intact, Quatre must have been injured while on Libra. He hoped it wasn�t too serious; the medical facilities on the satellite must be strained to bursting right now, but there was really nowhere else to go.
�Hey, Heero, you all right in there?� Duo�s voice was a little� worried. Heero decided he rather liked that Duo would worry about him. He looked around at his instruments, realising just how much damage Zero had taken on that abortive re-entry, and how bad it must look from the outside. He would be limping in rather than breezing back in glory, not that he particularly cared.
�I�m intact. Zero is functioning below capacity. You go on ahead if you want,� Heero offered. �I�ll meet you there.�
There was a brief crackle, then� �Nah, I�ll stick with you, Heero. After all, you�re gonna need someone to fend off� hysterical people, and they need to get Quatre to the infirmary.�
�What happened to him?� MO-2 was coming up steadily before them, but not at any speed that was close to Wing�s maximum, and certainly nothing like Deathscythe Hell�s capability. Heero noticed that Duo had not only powered down the thermal scythe but disassembled it and strapped it across the back of the suit.
�That damn Catalonia bitch stabbed him with a fencing foil while he was on Libra.� Duo must have heard Heero�s inhalation of shock, because he added quickly, �No major damage, Trowa said, but he needs medical attention.�
�Hn. Sally Po is there. She is a doctor.� OZ must have doctors on the satellite too, and medical technicians. Heero remembered being at the school in Sanc, and Dorothy. He had always found her� troublesome. He hoped she was being dealt with now. She had been a good fencer, then, if too temperamental for a soldier.
�Yeah.� Duo�s voice dropped, as though someone could overhear them on this private frequency. �You really OK, Heero?�
�I�m fine. What about you, are you hurt?� The idea made his insides clench up painfully. If Duo was injured, and hiding it from him�
�No, no, I�m fine!� Duo said quickly. �I mean, I got a bit of a shock when I found some unexpected guests on Libra� G and the rest. Don�t know where they are now, and I�m not sure I care.�
And then they were there, and Heero had to turn all his attention to checking Zero�s systems, making the best landing in the satellite�s bay that he could, and powering down. If he was honest with himself, he was a little nervous about seeing Duo again. They had had so little time together in these past few weeks, and between suit repairs and exhaustion had managed nothing more than a few more stolen kisses. The prospect of having the luxury of time, enough time to hold Duo properly, of a kiss that could last more than a half second of hidden contact� Heero wondered if they should celebrate the peace somehow, if there would be parties, or whether the survivors would be too sickened by what they had lost.
He had to leave the shelter of Wing�s cockpit sometime � preferably before Relena managed to find him again. She would probably rail at him for risking his life and continuing to fight, and� she wasn�t Duo. All of a sudden, Heero wanted to be with Duo very badly. He unbuckled his harness and keyed the sequence that would open the hatch. There was no hiss of moving air, so he supposed that the satellite hadn�t suffered damage. Climbing out of the lowered cockpit, Heero was a little startled by the sheer chaos in the mobile suit bay. People and machinery were drifting all over the place, and as soon as he appeared in the hatchway heads turned his way. Heero felt himself blushing furiously as silence fell across the huge hangar.
His gaze fell on Wu Fei, standing over to one side of the crowd and apparently beset by people. Soldiers and technicians, trying to shake his hand. He looked like he was about to explode, but Sally Po was pushing her way through the crowd towards him, so Heero thought he was probably OK. He kicked off from the hatchway, letting the low artificial gravity of the satellite pull him slowly towards the deck plates. He never made it there; a black-suited blur hit him at a surprising velocity, arms tangling around him as he was knocked sideways in a spin.
Heero blinked startled eyes just in time to see Duo�s face moving towards his. This kiss picked up where they had previously left off, and added a whole lot of emotional impact. Duo�s mouth met his with force, and after a nanosecond�s startlement Heero relaxed into the contact, parting his lips and seeking Duo�s tongue with his own as hands pushed their way into his hair and a strong body pressed against his own. He hadn�t thought that any kiss could possibly be better than those first few tentative moments all those weeks ago, but this felt wonderfully good, coaxing reactions from parts of him utterly unrelated to his mouth. A moan welled up in the back of Heero�s throat as the tip of Duo�s braid smacked softly into his back, and he felt the other boy purr against him, pressing closer.
They were rather rudely jolted out of their private little world by the echoing sound of applause. Heero pulled back from the kiss, startled to see that the pair of them were the focus of a small crowd of people, all of whom seemed to be clapping and cheering and whistling. He flushed violently, and felt the heat on his skin as Duo�s face flamed too. Heero was seriously tempted to scramble back into his Gundam and make a break for it, but Duo had a death-grip on his hand and there was no way Heero was going to let go. In that moment, though, he decided that as soon as physically possible, he � they? � were going to be getting the hell out of here.
�Aw, hell,� Duo muttered beside him, and Heero turned to see a furious blush decorating that fair skin. The other boy raised his voice. �All right, all right, show�s over, everyone! C�mon, Heero.� And he set off in the opposite direction, tugging on Heero�s hand as the crowd fell back before them.
�Nice entrance, Duo, Heero.� Sally Po looked amused and rather� satisfied, while Wu Fei seemed a little strained around the edges. He looked as though his eyes would be bulging if he weren�t so conscious of being in public.
�Hn. How is Quatre?� Heero asked before Duo could say anything. He had scanned the area thoroughly, and though the other three Gundams were kneeling over by the far wall, there was no sign of either of the other pilots. Heero took that to mean that Trowa was with Quatre, which he thought was probably a good thing.
�He�ll be in the infirmary for a few days, but he should make a full recovery.� Sally glanced from one to the other of them, then glanced off to the left. Following her gaze, Heero could see Relena standing with Noin, staring at him sorrowfully. Puppy dog eyes, Heero thought, wincing internally, but he didn�t let go of Duo�s hand. If Relena had chosen to interpret his behaviour in a certain way� he was not to blame for that.
�Happy Christmas,� Sally whispered theatrically, tossing a small object towards them. Heero flinched automatically, hand going for his gun, then was furious with himself for the reaction as Duo�s free hand shot out to snatch the little thing from the air.
Heero blinked then, his mind catching up with what Sally had said. �Christmas?� She grinned widely, glancing between him and Duo again as she backed off, moving away towards the place where Relena still stood forlornly.
�Yeah, it�s Christmas Eve,� Duo said as if he was only just realising that himself. �I�d forgotten, after everything that�s happened.� He looked over to Heero with a little smile. �Want to find somewhere more private? We kinda have some stuff to talk about�� Heero didn�t know about talking, but private certainly sounded good right now.
�OK.� He let Duo tug him off again, towards the inner parts of the satellite. The object Sally had thrown at them turned out to be a locator key, and it led them to a door half way down a narrow corridor deep within the base. Duo passed it over the reader, and as the door hissed open to reveal a tiny, sparsely furnished cabin he caught hold of the collar of Heero�s flight suit and dragged him inside.
�Heh, this place must be fuller than Peacemillion ever was,� Duo muttered, looking around. �Remind me to thank Sally�� His posture, the way his hands rested on his hips, drew Heero�s attention to the way that blue-banded black flight suit clung to the planes and curves of his body. Duo was beyond beautiful, but the look in his eyes as he turned to Heero made him step back in surprise. Shinigami�
�And you.� Duo glared at him. �Do you have any idea how worried I was about you when you went across to Libra? Not to mention that bit where you nearly got your ass fried in re-entry!�
Heero blinked at him, feeling a peculiar mixture of guilt and joy. Duo being worried meant that Duo cared about him. Kisses were one thing, but this anger was another. �You know I had to.�
Duo deflated a little, his shoulders drooping. �Yeah, I know. Doesn�t help much, though, you still coulda been killed.�
Heero shrugged. As far as he was concerned, it was simply a risk they all took. �Do� I get a reward, for saving the world?� He reached out uncertainly, taking the end of Duo�s braid between his fingers. Slowly, he pulled the stretchy band away from the hair, beginning to unravel the soft strands. Duo looked up at him with startled eyes, eyes that suddenly seemed much closer as he flung his arms around Heero, clinging to him like vine in the wind.
�Duo.� Heero slowly closed his arms about the other boy, laying his head down on Duo�s shoulder. The war was over. He wasn�t a soldier any more; little voices in the back of his head kept clamouring at him, shrieking about what was he going to do now? Heero didn�t know, but if he had his way he would be doing it with Duo, and he thought Duo might feel the same way.
They stood there together for a very long time. Duo didn�t seem any more inclined to let go than Heero was. Holding Duo against him like this felt right, as though Duo�s arms was the place he belonged. Heero�s time sense blurred a little; he pushed his face in towards Duo�s neck, feeling the rough surface texture of the flight suit and scenting sweat, and musk, and warmth. Duo.
�Do you still want to do wicked things to me?� Heero asked curiously, a little nervously; his voice came out muffled in Duo�s collar. He felt wisps of the other boy�s hair tickling his nose.
�Hell yeah,� Duo murmured into his shoulder; Heero felt one of Duo�s hands leave his back, and a second later there was the sensation of warm fingers slipping beneath his own collar, stroking softly along the back of his neck. It felt � nice. Gentle, sort of tingly. Duo�s fingers trailed slowly through the hair at his nape, and Heero shivered, lifting his head and blindly seeking Duo�s mouth.
A year ago, Heero would never have pictured himself in such a position. He had thought that he would not live to see the end of the war, and the idea of actually caring about somebody � caring about another person enough to touch them this way � had never occurred to him. He had felt contemptuous of other teenagers who seemed to spend all their time dating, and kissing, and obsessing about relationships. What value had that had, in comparison to his war? But this � maybe he understood, now. Duo�s hands on his body felt breathtaking, even through layers of clothing and pressure suits, and his kisses� Heero felt so young, clumsy and inexperienced next to him, although they were the same age.
Duo�s lips moved; Heero could feel the other boy smiling against his mouth, and then he was being guided gently backwards until the backs of his knees bumped the edge of the neatly-made bunk. He felt a sense of wonder, that Duo could co-ordinate all of this without leaving off what he was doing; he remembered calling the boy an idiot, thinking of him as stupid and foolish when they had first known each other. He shook his head, breaking the kiss a little.
Duo drew back a few centimetres, frowning. �What, Heero?� His voice was soft, not the brash joking they had all become used to, or the harsh battle-sound of Shinigami. Heero tried to smile at him.
�Happy Christmas, Duo.� The words sounded strange on his tongue; it was not a holiday Odin had celebrated, and there had been no room for such things in Dr J�s ordered world.
Duo smiled brilliantly, eyes creasing up, and leaned in to kiss him again, licking at Heero�s lips a little. �Do I get to unwrap my present now?�
Heero didn�t understand at first, and frowned, but then Duo�s fingers reached for the fastenings of his suit, and he flushed as the words suddenly made sense. �If� you want to�� he trailed off uncertainly.
Duo�s eyes shone like binary stars. �I do want to,� he said softly, as his fingers began to work at the seals and zippers. �I want to touch you, Heero, and I want you to touch me.�
Heero swallowed, trying to speak through the breath that caught in his throat. �I � I want to do that, I�� Any other words he might have said were lost as Duo kissed him again, hungrily, sliding his tongue into Heero�s mouth as his quick hands pushed the top half of the flight suit down to Heero�s waist, then trailed up again over the black, stretchy material of his undergarment. Heero felt his eyelids flutter shut and his knees tremble; the thin fabric was much less of a barrier to Duo�s touch, and it felt unbelievably good. When Duo�s hands dragged over the muscles of his chest, fingertips stroking across his nipples, Heero�s knees really did give out and he toppled backwards onto the bed, dragging Duo down with him.
Heero gasped for breath, fumbling for the fastenings at Duo�s throat as the other boy landed hard against his chest. �Oof!� Duo pushed himself up a little, clambering onto the bed and taking some of his weight off Heero. It allowed Heero to breathe more easily, but he still felt a little bereft, and the damn seals seemed to be evading his fingers as though taunting him. He growled a little in frustration, frowning up at them, and was a little startled to find Duo�s hands suddenly aiding his own. He wondered how Duo�s hands could be so steady.
�Heero � God, Heero�� Duo was mumbling into his neck, his body stretched out alongside Heero�s, pressing against him in a very distracting way. Heero could feel the damp heat of his breath against his skin; it made him shiver. He wanted to touch Duo, now; he yanked impatiently on the zipper, tugging the top part of the suit down. Duo helped, pulling his arms out and wriggling to get the clinging stuff down his legs. Heero sat up, pushing his own suit down over his hips, toeing the boot parts off and kicking them off his legs. When he looked up, Duo�s eyes were fixed on his body.
Heero blushed, and Duo raised one hesitant hand, brushing over his waist and down one hip in a way that felt very nice. Heero made a noise in his throat and shifted closer.
�Damn, Heero, I knew you looked good in spandex but�� Duo murmured, blinking at him as his fingertips roamed over Heero�s skintight undergarments. The stretchy black stuff looked good on Duo too, Heero thought, but the formfitting material just made him more fixated on the skin that was underneath. He forgot all about that, though, when Duo pulled his braid over his shoulder and finished unravelling it, shaking his head back. Long, loose, cinnamon hair drifted around his black-clad body, falling in soft waves over his shoulders and back. Heero stopped breathing.
Duo reached for him, smiling a little uncertainly, and Heero moved to kiss him again without any hesitation. Their mouths became bolder, tongues twisting and stroking against each other, teeth nipping at lips, and Heero lost track of time again as he was gently pushed down onto his back. When they parted, he simply stared up at Duo�s wide-eyed face, the other boy�s hair falling like a curtain around them. Shutting out the rest of the world, Heero thought.
�Duo,� he whispered, lifting his hands and twisting that silky hair between his fingers, drawing the other�s face back down for another melting kiss. It was every bit as soft as he had imagined�
Duo was pressed tightly against him from chest to knees, and it felt beyond good. Heero could feel himself getting hard; he shifted a little, uncertainly, and felt a similar bulge in Duo�s pants, rubbing a little against his hip. Duo gasped into his mouth at the motion, and deepened the kiss, sucking hard on Heero�s tongue. Heero moaned softly, breathed through his nose and tried to stay rational. Duo pulled back, laughing breathlessly against his lips, but Heero knew that he wasn�t mocking him. Duo sounded so� happy; it gave Heero a strange, warm feeling inside to know that he was the cause of that joyful sound. It only added to the heat pooling in his stomach and groin. He stroked his fingers softly down Duo�s back, searching for the hem of the stretchy shirt, and was rewarded with a gasp and a tiny shiver.
�God, Heero,� Duo murmured in his ear. �Do you know what you�re doing? What we�re doing?�
Heero froze uncertainly. �I� I�ve never��
Duo moved, pushing his hips against Heero�s with a little groan. �Me either� I know the theory, but� aah� I never cared about anyone enough to want to do� this.�
There didn�t seem to be anything Heero could say to that, so he kissed him again. Duo responded enthusiastically, his fingers ghosting along the hem of Heero�s shirt, then squirming underneath. The touch of Duo�s hands on the skin of his stomach made Heero gasp and arch up a little, and the motion brought their now fully hard cocks into contact.
Even through two layers of clothing, it was electrifying. Duo hissed and thrust against him, biting down on his lip, and Heero abruptly decided that he was tired of going slow. He had them both divested of their upper garments before Duo could do much more than blink down at him in surprise.
Duo�s body was pale, the skin of his chest and upper arms two or three shades lighter than his face and hands. Heero�s own hands, when he splayed them out against Duo�s ribs, were slightly darker and made a contrast. He was a little surprised when Duo shifted onto his side again, but the sensation of light hands running over the muscles of his chest and abdomen made him shudder. Duo�s fingers found his nipples again, and suddenly Heero was simply too far away and if he didn�t kiss Duo again right now he thought he might die. Duo�s hands came up to hold his head as he pulled their bodies together again.
They lay there, legs tangled together, hands caressing slowly, just kissing each other. Heero thought the feel of Duo�s skin against his own might be even more addictive than the kisses. He wondered whether this was how it felt to everyone, or if it was just Duo. Was this how love was supposed to feel? As if it simply wasn�t possible to get enough of the other person, their smiles, their kisses, their touch?
God, Duo�s touch. His hands were stroking against Heero�s back, just gentle circles as their mouths moved together, but it felt better than anything he had yet experienced. His own hands were exploring Duo�s upper chest and shoulders, finding the sharp curves and planes of muscle and delicate bones, drawing gasps and little whimpers when they found sensitive spots. Heero felt like he would want to just lie here doing this forever, could just let go of the world and everything in it and stay in this little cabin, on this narrow bunk, with Duo.
Duo shifted, pulling Heero over to lie flush against him, and their erections brushed together again. Heero broke the kiss with a gasp, breathing heavily. Duo had his eyes shut and was humming happily, a smile on his face and his hair falling around him. Hesitantly, Heero slid one hand down over the boy�s waist to stroke across his hip, then down the back of his thigh. Duo all but purred, arching and rubbing himself very deliberately against Heero. One of his hands drifted down to clutch at Heero�s ass, pulling him into the contact. Then his eyes opened, indigo like smoke in an evening sky, and his fingers slipped inside the waistband of Heero�s pants, touching him.
Heero thought he just might die. It was akin to the sensation of pushing that trigger in Siberia, a strange rushing dislocation from his body, but now there was a tugging sensation in his loins as tiny little darts of pleasure sped through him. He thought he groaned. Duo�s fingers curled about his erection, rubbing and sliding gently, stroking him as though he were something precious. He was looking into Heero�s eyes, gazing into his soul, and now his thumb was rubbing softly around the tip, it felt slicker somehow�
He had to touch too. He had to show Duo just how good this felt. Hesitantly Heero reached for the waistband of Duo�s pants, pulling the elastic material down just enough to get his own hands in. Duo�s eyes pulled at his, refused to let him go, but he could still touch. Still feel.
Duo was hot in his hand, hard and heavy and hot, and he arched against Heero with a guttural noise of pleasure, his own fingers clutching almost painfully and wringing a similar sound from Heero. Heero had never imagined that someone else could feel so good in his fingers. Although he had touched himself before, explored his own body in secret, it had always been very much a guilty pleasure. He could not imagine Dr J approving of his weapon expending valuable energy on something so trivial, and so the sheer pleasure of having Duo�s cock in his hand startled him a little.
Hesitantly, Heero began to move his hand, trying to imitate the movements Duo�s fingers were making upon his own body. Curling the fingers, squeezing a little, stroking up and down, rubbing just there� He could feel liquid seeping from the head, and he spread it around with his thumb, feeling his fingers becoming slicker. Duo gasped and writhed against him, the motions of his hands increasing, his eyes still boring into Heero�s. Heero arched involuntarily, pressing against him and feeling the edge approaching too fast to be held off. He clutched at Duo almost desperately, thrusting his hips into the movements of the other boy�s hand, feeling Duo�s own body begin to move against him, the heat of him growing and expanding�
Duo tightened his fingers with a groan, stroking harder and reaching up to pull Heero�s head down for a kiss. His tongue thrust between Heero�s teeth, twining with his own and Duo�s hips jerked violently, his cock throbbing and pulsing in Heero�s hand as something slick suddenly filled the space between them and Heero lost himself finally, the world exploding into darkness and taking him with it.
�Wow.� It was the fifth time Duo had said that in as many minutes, but Heero didn�t care. He could feel himself smiling like a fool, and he didn�t care. The aftershocks had subsided a little now, and Duo was propped up one elbow, staring down at him with that serious-affectionate-happy expression on his face. Hero liked that expression. He liked it even better because it was directed at him. Maybe even because of him. Something he had done had made Duo this happy. That was a good feeling, one he wanted to experience again. Along with everything they had just done.
�I never realised it would feel so good,� Duo was saying in a low voice that made warm shivers go through Heero. �I might have kissed you sooner if I�d known.� He twirled a lock of his hair absently around one finger, head on one side.
Heero blinked. �Did you want to?�
�Yeah, for ages.� Duo grinned at him. �Why do you think I stuck around you so much, huh? Like glue.�
Heero smiled. Somewhere in the afterglow they had lost the remainders of their clothing, some of it used to clean them of sweat and fluids, and now their legs were curled together on top of the blanket. Skin to skin from neck to toes, it felt intimate. Good.
�I only realised recently what it was I wanted. I�m� not good at��
�You�re good enough for me, Heero.� Duo leaned down and kissed him again, slow and almost lazy. Heero could feel a hum of pleasure vibrating through his chest. This was good, comfortable; he felt like he belonged here. With Duo. It felt like the logical extension of those hugs, of the thoughts Heero had been having. He knew there was more, though, and having tasted this much he felt almost greedy for the rest.
Duo flopped down onto his back beside him, staring up at the ceiling. �This is weird, huh?�
Heero frowned. ��What do you mean?�
Duo�s fingers found his hand, but he didn�t turn to face him, instead lifting a lock of his hair and inspecting it. �You. Me. This. I mean, I wanted, but I never expected this to actually happen.� Heero felt his hand being squeezed gently, fingers interlacing with his own as Duo frowned at his hair. �Hell, this stuff is going to be a nightmare to brush out tomorrow.�
�I could do that.� The words popped out before Heero really had a chance to think about them. �I mean, I�d like to. If you want.�
Duo�s fingers caressed his own. �That�d be nice, Heero.� Heero liked the way Duo said his name.
There was a comfortable silence for while, and Heero thought about things. �What should we do now?� he asked after a while, a little uncertainly. �We�re only fifteen��
�Maybe sixteen � it�s nearly the end of the year.� Duo frowned up at the ceiling. �I was thinking, we could go back to L2 with Hilde for a while � there�s always work in a scrapyard. Or the Sweepers could use us, there�ll be a lot of profit to be made from clean-up. Depends what you want to do really, Heero.�
The implications of that would have been staggering, if Heero hadn�t been used to shocks. ��You want to stay with me?�
�I want us to stay together,� Duo corrected, though Heero wasn�t sure he understood the difference. �I like you, Heero,� the fingers in his tightened, �maybe more.�
�I like you too.� It was the plain truth, and both of them knew that they weren�t referring to friendship or camaraderie. �That wasn�t what I meant. What should we do � now?� He punctuated the question with a brush of fingers down Duo�s side.
�Oh�? Oh.� Duo levered himself up onto his elbow again, leaning over Heero until there was very little space between their mouths. �What would you like to do, Heero?�
That name again, in a voice like silk. Heero shivered. �Everything,� he murmured, and the words came out hoarse and almost pleading. His fingers found their way to Duo�s skin without any direction on his part, drifting over the hard muscles of his abdomen. Duo shuddered beneath his touch, and several locks of his hair slithered over his shoulder, falling slowly down to tickle against Heero�s skin.
�Are you sure, Heero?� Duo�s eyes were wide pools of twilight blue. �We don�t have to � you said yourself we�re only fifteen.�
�Maybe sixteen. And anyway�� Heero tried to put it into words. �Neither of us is exactly a normal fifteen-year-old. We�ve seen enough � done enough � to be considered adult. And if we�re going to � if I�m going to be with you, then I want to be with you. I want everything, Duo.�
Duo blinked down at him, looking a little awed and a lot nervous, now. One hand skimmed down Heero�s side, hovering suggestively over his hip. �You want�?�
Heero arched up into the contact, feeling arousal stir within him. Abruptly, though, Duo was gone, propelling himself energetically off the bed. Heero couldn�t stop himself from reaching out, about to plead with his lover to return, but Duo crouched by the side of the bed, pulling open the little cupboard there and rooting through its contents.
�What are you�?�
Duo pulled open a drawer, poking through it urgently. �Looking for� ah.� He snatched something up, shoving the cabinet back into some semblance of order, and sat back down on the bed beside Heero. Heero watched curiously as he set a bottle of hand cream down by the head of the bed.
�What�s that for?�
�You.� Duo looked down at him with a new expression on his face, serious but at the same time tender and a little aroused. �If you want this, we�re doing it properly.�
It was in Heero to question what Duo meant then, but the other boy forestalled him by leaning down, bringing their bodies together again and taking Heero�s lips with his own, and suddenly words didn�t matter nearly as much.
Heero had thought for while that he himself was somehow flawed, that there was a fault in him that went beyond conditioning, preventing him from being able to relate to others on a personal level. Now, here in this place with Duo caressing his skin, touching him almost with worship, he knew categorically that he had been mistaken. His personality, his soul, might be newly formed and impressionable, but it was his, and whole. He had never felt that he fit anywhere as much as he did here with Duo.
He thought that Duo might feel the same way; he was murmuring tiny words into Heero�s skin, his hands, endearments and exhortations, words that meant Duo loved him. Heero knew it as surely as he knew he felt the same. He didn�t need to understand the emotion to know that he felt it.
Duo�s mouth was hot against his, his tongue tracing Heero�s lower lip, the roof of his mouth. Heero slid his hands down Duo�s back, clutching at his ass and pulling their hips into closer contact. It felt familiar, wonderful, as though he could die of it, and it was only beginning. He slid his legs a little apart in invitation, pulling Duo between them, their renewed erections sliding and rubbing against each other. The friction was almost enough to drive Heero out of his mind, and by the way Duo groaned into his mouth, one hand flailing out for the hand cream, it must feel just as intense to him.
Still, Duo had to pause after he had tipped the stuff onto his fingers. �Heero, are you really sure you wanna do this?�
�Yes. Hai. Duo�� Heero reached up, tangling one hand in Duo�s hair and pulling his face down for a slow, lingering kiss that left them both short of breath and aching. �I want you. I want this.�
He had thought that he was prepared for this, but the feeling of Duo�s slick fingers sliding across that sensitive ring of muscle surprised him enough that he gasped, and then as the sensation became stronger Heero could not help but moan at the sheer, strange pleasure of it. Duo�s fingers, gentle and uncertain, caressed him there in that hidden place, pulling shivers and gasps from him. Heero�s body was used to overloads of sensation, used to pressure, pain, accelerated healing, but not to this. Not to this creeping, caressing pleasure that stole through him, sent tiny sparks of fire through his system. He groaned, thrusting up, reaching desperately for Duo, he needed�
Duo�s other hand settled on his aching groin, rubbing slowly in what might elsewhere have been a soothing motion, and the exploring fingers became bolder. Heero repressed a tiny sob as the tip of Duo�s index finger entered him slowly, unable to quite fathom where all this emotion was coming from. He looked up into the face above him; Duo was biting his bottom lip, looking very unsure of himself, and Heero remembered that this was his first time too.
�Heero?�
Heero couldn�t respond with more than a soft gasp; the finger inside him was moving slowly, flexing and exploring. It felt strange, alien� good. Unbelievably good; pleasure rushed through him like a dam bursting as the invading digit brushed across something there�
�Duo. More,� Heero found himself all but begging, clutching at Duo�s forearm. The finger withdrew a little, leaving behind a strangely uncomfortable feeling of emptiness, and then the sensation returned as Duo pushed two fingers inside him. Even with the lubrication of the hand cream, this ached a little, but it was just an ache, not actual pain. Heero shifted a little, trying to adjust himself, and felt that explosive brush across his prostate again as Duo began to work the fingers in him, stretching. He sank back onto the bed, gasping, and just let Duo do what he would.
Three fingers, more lubricant, and it really was stretching now, tight, and he tried to relax his muscles because it felt so good and he wanted more, wanted it all. Somehow Heero found the bottle of hand cream in his hands, found himself squeezing the stuff into his fingers and taking Duo�s cock into his hands again, the slippery stuff making the movements of his hands slick and easy, and Heero felt more than heard Duo�s groan.
Then there was a moment of wrenching stillness, Heero empty again as Duo�s fingers were removed, and Duo was looking down at him, asking him again despite the expression on his face which clearly told Heero that Duo wanted this as much or more than he did.
�Heero, are you sure�?�
Heero gasped in reply, jerking his hips up towards Duo urgently, he wanted this, he needed it. �Everything, Duo�!�
Duo rose over him, Heero half-slitting his eyes so that the other boy wasn�t much more than a pale shadow draped in chestnut hair, warmth against him. He felt it then, the slickness of Duo�s erection nudging at his entrance, and for just a moment he had to fight not to freeze. The breath went out of him in a hiss as Duo pressed into him, agonisingly slowly, his muscles burning and twinging, protesting the intrusion. Heero forced himself to relax, ignore the ache and let Duo further inside him.
�Heero � God,� Duo panted, head bowed and hair flowing over them both like a river. �Don�t let me hurt you�!�
�You won�t,� Heero croaked, lifting his hips and trying to coax Duo further before he was reduced to begging. Already the ache had begun to be replaced with an unbelievable sense of fullness, completion. This felt right� he wanted it all�
With a dry sound of pleasure, Duo pushed in all at once, his balls pressing against Heero�s ass and the whole thick length of him tight inside Heero�s body. Heero thought he might just die of this, almost thought he wanted to. His legs were wound tightly around Duo�s hips, the other boy�s face buried in his neck; he could feel Duo�s harsh breath on his skin and it matched his own. �I�m ready, Duo.� Heero rocked his pelvis to prove it, and Duo�s fingers tightened almost painfully on his hips; Heero thought he might have bruises later.
�God, Heero � I can�t last long, I � you�� He began moving slowly, pulling back a few centimetres then pushing back in.
Doesn�t matter, Heero thought; he just wanted � needed � Duo to move. He lifted his hands, fisting them in Duo�s hair and pulling his face down close enough to kiss. Duo�s eyes were wide, pupils dark and dilated with arousal, his teeth buried in his lower lip, and Heero kissed his mouth, licking frantically at his lips, then his nose, his cheek, every patch of skin he could reach. It felt like he could never get enough of Duo, like he could never want to.
The sensation of Duo�s hard penis inside him had been alien at first, but as the other pilot began to move, thrusting slowly, it felt beyond good. The lubrication added enough slickness to the movement that the friction between them was caressing rather than painful; Heero felt Duo moving over, around, inside him, stroking his body inside and out, the motion of his thrusts brushing against that spot inside him, sending waves of pleasure coursing over, though him.
Duo was gasping into his neck now, mumbling broken snatches of words and phrases, his body pushing against Heero�s with every thrust. His erection was rubbing against the hard planes of Duo�s stomach, but he wanted more; he moved his own hand down to stroke himself but Duo�s hand was there first, squeezing him as his cock thrust hard just there, and that was it, he was over the edge and maybe screaming, maybe convulsing as his vision whited out and his muscles contracted and he came harder than he ever had in his life. Feeling Duo�s thrusting accelerating and becoming ragged as wet heat exploded inside Heero�s body and he arched with a trembling cry and collapsed atop him.
Maybe. Heero didn�t really think much of anything for a quite a while after that, but somewhere, in between the lazy movements and the whispered words of affection � afterglow � he realised it. This was it. He wasn�t one any more, but a part of Duo, just as Duo was part of him. They belonged to each other now, and maybe it might not last so long, maybe they might grow up and apart with the years, but this was love. It really was. And it was more than either of them had ever had.
Heero pulled Duo�s head down to lie against his shoulder, uncaring of the sweat and semen slowly drying on their bodies. It was his life now, his choice to make, and he wasn�t going to let this go.