-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Investigation
Date: 586.11.21 - 14:36:16 (AET)
From: Varra Carin-Lewes
To: Marek Williams-Morten
Professor �
I�m sure you�ll have heard by now that I�ve been reassigned to the College�s research division. I�m currently working with Sociology on a study of the Eve Wars in comparison to the recent disturbances on Alpha Three, primarily involving the humanitarian aspects of war, and the problems faced by both soldiers and civilians in adapting to peace. As such, a large proportion of the historical side of the project is very focused � I�ve been taking case studies of individuals and groups, and the obvious place to start was the Gundam Pilots.
Recently, however, I�ve been coming across a curious pattern in the course of my research, something that�s simply bothering me, and since the Pilots have always been something of a pet subject of yours, I wanted to bring it up with you.
You know, of course, that the time elapsed alone means that there is very little evidence surviving about the lives of Yuy, Maxwell, Barton, Winner and Chang. Then, too, I have always had the impression that all five of those young men were very private individuals, and so even though there was a lot of press coverage of them over the first few years after the Wars, none of them actively sought the spotlight. We know a little about most of them � Chang worked as a Preventer and was married to a colleague, Winner and Barton were life partners, Maxwell co-owned a salvage enterprise in the Colonies with Hilde Schbeiker and worked part-time with Preventers.
About Yuy, though, we know very little indeed, and this is troubling because the nature of his experiences during the war makes him an ideal subject for this paper. I�m thinking particularly of his conditioning as a soldier and assassin � he�s frequently referred to as the �Perfect Soldier� � and his long-term interaction with the ZERO system. It�s pure speculation, but I would imagine that to recover from experiences like that, to integrate into normal society again, would take some time and effort on his part, and perhaps others.
The obvious avenue to follow up in the case of Yuy�s life after the Wars is, of course, the so-called Love Letters. It�s now all but accepted as fact that Relena Peacecraft � or Darlian, whichever she was calling herself at the time � was the recipient of those letters, and the writer of the third. It�s one of the most famous historical �romances� around � the Princess of Pacifism and her knight protector. But the more I dig into what little we know of Yuy�s life, the shakier I find this theory to be.
There is no real evidence that I can find that would identify Peacecraft as Yuy�s lover. In fact, from what I can gather of their movements, which of course is very little, they were only ever in the same place at the same time when Yuy was on bodyguard duty with the Preventers. There is no news coverage of the two of them together that is not in some way related to some kind of official function. And, considering the degree to which Peacecraft lived in the public eye, had they been living together at any point it would definitely have been picked up on. Of course, given the nature of tabloid reporting, there are many gossip-column stories surviving which attempt to pair them, but as far as I�ve been able to check any �sightings� reported are also connected to official events.
Now I know what you�re saying; you�re about to tell me that unless I have a better hypothesis there�s no reason to stir up needless controversy by flying in the face of accepted opinion. Well, I don�t have an alternative suggestion as to who Yuy�s mystery lover may have been, but hear me out. Granted, Yuy saved Peacecraft�s life on numerous occasions, but there are references in Winner�s diaries to occasions when he also attempted to kill her, but was prevented in some fashion. Winner also refers specifically and explicitly to Peacecraft as �stalking� Yuy, but doesn�t provide much detail. According to Arisu � or more specifically her great-grandmother � the girl followed him around during much of the Wars in that rather tacky pink limo that�s in some of the early graphics, and kept watch on him through other means. I know this is opinion, but I simply cannot see someone like Yuy taking kindly to that kind of treatment, especially if he was trying to hide at the time!
To return for a moment to solid, undeniable fact, there�s also the third note of the collection. I�ve seen that letter, in suspension at the museum, and I�ve also seen the original copies of Peacecraft�s journals. The handwriting styles are vastly dissimilar, even taking into account that the note was probably written in haste. To put it in simple terms, I am highly sceptical that Heero Yuy and Relena Peacecraft had any relationship that was beyond professional, at least on his part.
What I need from you, Professor � or rather, what I�d very much like, if you�re not insanely busy at the moment, would be for you to apply all your specialist biographical knowledge of the Gundam Pilots to this problem for me. I�ve been trying to make a list of all the women that Yuy would have had opportunity to develop a relationship with, taking into account all those little factors like location and time and so forth, but I simply don�t have the specialist knowledge you do. If you could give me any help at all on this front, I�d be very grateful.
Thanks for letting me ramble on as usual, Professor. Arisu sends her love to Marie.
�Varra
--------End of Message--------
There was nothing there. Damn it. I banished the files I�d been working through, withdrawing and closing down the system. Outside virtual space, I simply sat in my desk chair for a long moment, staring at nothing in particular until the terminal beeped at me to let me know it was still running.
I knew what I had to do, but now that it came to it I was finding it difficult to make myself give up the chase. I had spent weeks sifting through the archives, looking for any clues that might shed some light upon the mysterious private life of Heero Yuy, Gundam Pilot 01. Weeks of coming up blank that had left me no more enlightened than I had ever been. The submission date for my half of the article was coming up, there was no time left, and I would have to spend the next two weeks writing up what data I already had. The article would simply have to stand as it was.
I sighed, snapping the connectors off my wrists and wriggling my fingers out of the VR gloves, watching the terminal obediently shut itself down. It was late, I should get home. Arisu would be wondering where I was.
Halfway out the door, I remembered the data chips. Shit. I could burn them now, but that would make me late for the transport, and then I would have to wait fifteen minutes at the station. I could burn them from home, but that would require remote access, and the security system� was nothing to Arisu. Mind made up, I dashed out of the door, narrowly missing a collision with one of the departmental secretaries, and down the corridor to the lift tube.
By the time I was settled in my seat in the carriage I was back to the same old subject again. Lately it seemed like the Gundam Pilots were all I could think about; they had become my pet mysteries. I simply didn�t understand how five young men whose names and faces had been known throughout the entire Earth Sphere as was, could have managed to live out their lives away from media attention. All that was known about their later lives was business information � their employment records with Preventers and the Winner Corporation, mainly. I had searched the ancient Preventer files, which of course were now publicly accessible, but where in the records of other agents there were notifications of marital status, survivors� pensions, medical benefits for couples, things like that, the pilots� files appeared to have been wiped clean. All that remained to us were dry notations of job titles and mission details.
It told me nothing, but more and more as the days went on I had become convinced that, whoever Yuy had been spending his time with, it had not been Relena Peacecraft. I had read her journals � repeatedly � and while there was a certain amount of interest in the political ability she displayed, her comments on Heero Yuy approached the level of disturbing. His name was everywhere � �Heero came to see me today,� �Heero protects me again as always,� �Heero may not show his emotions but I know how he feels�� the list goes on. The more I read of this, the more I got the feeling that the girl was at best seeing what she wanted to see � at worst, delusional. A lot of the incidents when she mentions Yuy�s presence correspond with close protection missions recorded in the Preventer database. Peacecraft, though, chooses to interpret them as signs of Yuy�s affection for her.
A chime sounded in the carriage; I rose hastily, grabbing my bag and making my way out onto the station. My skimmer was parked where I had left it this morning, and I quickly joined the skylanes, heading over the few blocks to our building.
If Relena Peacecraft had been as obsessed with him as her writings implied, it might be no wonder that Yuy preferred to keep his private life secret. Perhaps, though, there had been other problems. It was easy for me to imagine that someone trained as Yuy had been � there were records of that, at least, psychiatric evaluations and interviews from directly after the wars � might naturally be intensely secretive.
I brightened a little; that was something I could use in my article, even if it wasn�t what I had been hoping for. At this stage, I needed solid fact. Speculation would have to wait until my time was my own again.
I slipped the skimmer into its assigned recharge slot at the edge of the big garage and locked it down, heading for the lift to the habitation levels. Sooner or later I had known that I was going to have to face this. After almost four hundred years, it was amazing that we had as much information as we did. I knew that the Love Letters, as they were known, although their content wasn�t solely romantic, had only survived as part of the Winner Collection, hoarded by Arisu�s family along with all the other scraps of their ancestors� lives. None of the Winners had any clue how the letters had come into their possession, of course. They had simply been discovered a century or so back, mixed in with the papers of some deceased CEO.
I paused before the apartment door, hunting through my bag for my keychip, but it slid open before I could do anything. Arisu was standing there, looking not-very-pleased. Belatedly, I remembered that the residential maintenance check had been scheduled for this evening.
"You�re late," she observed irritably, then her manner softened as she took in my state of dejection. "What�s the matter?"
I shrugged, heading for the coffee table to set down my bag. "Not much, really. I�ve just kind of passed the point where I can drag this research out. The write-up needs to go to the Sociology team next week."
"Still haven�t found anything?"
I sighed, collapsing back onto the couch. "Not anything I�d call evidence. I still think he had someone, but I�m no closer to knowing who."
She turned away, heading into the kitchen area to start coffee brewing. "Did you talk to Marek?"
"Yeah. He agreed there�s cause for doubt, but he doesn�t have any information that would help me. He did say Marie was planning some kind of reunion get-together this summer, though; we�ll probably be invited."
"That�ll be good." Arisu had her back to me, doing something to the coffee machine. "I haven�t seen her for a while. Do you have work to do tonight? I was thinking maybe we could go out for dinner, since you look exhausted." She turned, carrying the coffee with her, short blonde hair swishing about her cheekbones. It seemed to be a legacy from her infamous forefather, that pale colouring; most people these days were pretty much brown. I had always liked it. Her.
I smiled up at her a little ruefully. "Actually, not work, but I need to burn out some data and I didn�t have time before I left�"
She grinned wickedly. "Can do. That password system�"
"Maybe you should offer to upgrade their security," I suggested wryly. Even to me, the departmental tech security was pretty anachronistic, with passwords based on a rotating word set. As far as I could tell the secretary was something of an aficionado of old languages; he used combinations of Spanish, Japanese and pre-Standard English, and while they were no longer commonly spoken, it did make him predictable. Last time I had been into his office he had even had wall art in the ancient Japanese scripts, which had fallen out of use centuries ago.
Arisu grinned at me. "But then what would you do when you forgot your stuff? And besides, I can get anywhere. It doesn�t mean there�s a serious problem." She was right, too � it was her hacking ability that had led her into security work rather than more general tech consultation, for which civilisation ought to give thanks, I thought wryly.
"Do you still want to eat out?" I asked her, catching the look in her eye as she moved onto the couch beside me.
Arisu smiled, setting her coffee down and reaching for me. "No, I changed my mind. I think maybe we should� order in..."
-------- Original Message --------
Subject: War Studies article
Date: 586.11.30 - 10:47:06 (AET)
From: Varra Carin-Lewes
To: Andrea Sertson-Krafte
Dear Andrea;
I have attached the completed copy of the commissioned War Studies report. Obviously the publication is now in your hands; the paper has been approved by both my own Department and the Sociology people, and all the relevant data are attached. These comprise five pages of 2D photographic images, two pages of diagrams and charts, and the abstract and bibliography. All are referenced in the text as agreed. On behalf of the Department, I would like to thank you for involving us in this project; we�ve had the opportunity to do a lot of research and are now reconsidering some of the opinions which we have previously held. In particular I would draw your attention to the section wherein the specific examples of the Gundam Pilots are discussed; there may be opportunities in the future for other work on this highly controversial period of our history.
We look forward to hearing from you soon.
Avarra Carin-Lewes
--------End of Message--------
"Where�s the cleaning fluid?" Arisu�s voice echoed; it sounded like she had her head stuck inside the terminal cabinet again.
"We�re out," I called back, aimlessly flicking through channels on the AVE system in the hope of finding something halfway decent to watch. "Is it urgent? I�m shopping tomorrow, but I can go get some now if you really need it�"
There was a bang, then the soft sound of a sneeze. "No, it can wait." She appeared in the doorway, hair mussed and dusty and expression disgruntled. "I�m avoiding doing real work � my jacks need sterilising, and�"
"�I know how you hate doing that," I finished for her, amused. "It doesn�t actually hurt, you know�"
"But it feels like it," she complained, shaking her head irritably to settle her hair.
"You spend too much time upshifted." I grinned at her. "It�s all psychosomatic."
"Yeah, yeah, heard it all before," she grumbled, wandering into the kitchen and rummaging in the candy jar. "It�s my job�"
"�and you enjoy your job far too much," I finished the old argument, smirking. Arisu groaned.
"Varra�! Anyway, it�s not like you don�t love your work!"
I did. I knew it. The research, the joy of being able to comb through the sources and maybe discover something new, reinterpret some historical paradox � I adored it. Just lately, though� it was more difficult. Harder to settle, harder to make myself want to go in to the College in the mornings and teach classes on pre-civilisation cultures, harder still to try and develop an interest in the new conservation project I had been assigned.
I knew why, too. The mystery was still eating at me, the problem I had had to abandon. I knew that there was something there, some truth that had yet to be uncovered. Heero Yuy � he had been a man with a secret, and I desperately wanted to find out what it was.
"�Varra?"
I blinked; Arisu was looking at me strangely, a candy stick held out in one hand. I took it automatically, wondering how long she had been calling me. She had such a strange look on her face, as though there was something she wanted to say but couldn�t. I had been noticing it more and more lately; if she hadn�t been such an open person I might have suspected that she was keeping something from me.
"What?"
"Are you�" she trailed off, frowning a little and not looking at me.
"What, Arisu?"
"Ah, do you still want to go out tonight?" I could sense that that hadn�t been what she had started out to say, but if she didn�t want to tell me� I let it go. This time.
-----------------
Extract from Sphere Magazine, dated 7th July AC199:
Is our dear Vice-foreign Minister hiding a secret? It has long been rumoured that Relena Peacecraft, previously Romefeller�s Queen Relena and instrumental in bringing about the end of the war, has a closer relationship with the former Gundam Pilot Heero Yuy than has been revealed to the public. Miss Relena herself has never denied the claims, preferring to keep the details of her private life separate from her work, but on more than one occasion she has publicly expressed gratitude to Yuy for protecting her during the wars.
Indeed, Heero Yuy is often seen at the Vice-Foreign Minister�s side during official occasions, giving his famous glare to those who he imagines might wish harm to his charge � possibly his love? While the official explanation given is that Yuy is merely part of a team of Preventer bodyguards assigned to Minister Peacecraft on a rotating basis to deal with any threats that may unfortunately be posed by dissatisfied elements, we here at Sphere are not alone in suspecting ulterior motives. A reliable source close to the Vice-Foreign Minister this week revealed to us that Miss Relena is �very fond� of Agent Yuy, and often makes time in her schedule to visit him a Preventer Headquarters.
Heero Yuy himself was unavailable for comment, but Miss Peacecraft, when questioned by our reporter at last week�s Colonial Economic Summit, replied that her relationship with Yuy was �a private matter,� prompting renewed speculation.
Many have expressed incredulity that our Vice-Foreign Minister could wish to keep secret a relationship with such a figure � the hero of the Eve Wars, who has saved her life on numerous occasions; it seems all but fated that they should be together. However, we at Sphere believe that these two young people, who, it must not be forgotten, are both barely nineteen years old, should be left to explore their growing relationship in relative privacy. No doubt if, as we all hope, a wedding is in the offing, it will be the social event of the century!
----------------------
I fiddled with the magnification controls, trying to zoom in on the scrawled handwriting of the letter. There was something� was it familiar? I didn�t think so, but there was a definite sense that I ought to know who had written this. Almost as though there was something buried in my memory, just out of my reach. It was frustrating.
What was obvious, though, was that the handwriting here did not match anything Relena Peacecraft was known to have written. I brought up a new screen, with a scanned page from her journal. Her handwriting was round, girlish, loopy� some of the Is had been dotted with hearts, even. The handwriting of the note, though � a spiky scrawl that still somehow managed to be neat and vaguely legible, it was entirely dissimilar. The phrasing, too � even in her private journals Peacecraft had used more formal language than this note.
I scrolled down again, returning to what, more than anything else, signified to me the eternal puzzle of the blasted Letters. Beneath the text of the unsigned note, an impenetrable tangle of scrawled ink lines, as though the writer had written many letters over each other, or scribbled out a doodle. Was it a signature? None of the historians who had studied it had ever been able to tell, and I was no exception.
It nagged at me, though. Something about it � I was sure that there was something there to recognise, some clue to the identity of the writer if only I could decipher it. It made me think somehow of my undergraduate studies on Mars, of early mornings� no, it was gone again. I sighed, closing down the screen with Peacecraft�s journal entry and bringing up the other two Love Letters for comparison.
Start at the beginning, I told myself. Try and see them as if new.
Three letters, all hand-written. The first, dated 11.6.198, addressed to �my love� and signed �Heero.� Six paragraphs, referring to the mission he was currently undertaking for Preventers, his annoyance with the Director for assigning him away from home again, a political conference when �they� might be able to be together.
What did that tell me? I had already cross-checked the mission in question with the Preventers database and ruled out anyone Yuy had had contact with during that time. It wasn�t a very long list, just a few other agents. The reference to �home� highly suggested that Yuy and his lover lived together � it was just a shame that there was no address of any kind on the letter. I had already researched the conference of Summer 198, and had discovered that all of the Gundam Pilots had been there � Winner and Barton for the corporation, and the others as Preventer security. If memory swerved me, it had been about that time that Chang and Commander Po had announced their engagement. I shrugged; little there I didn�t already know, but it did add more weight to my arguments against Relena.
The second letter. Dated 9.12.198, addressed to �love� and again signed �Heero.� He referred here to job issues � the possibility of quitting Preventers in 199 and working part-time or consulting from home, the strong implication being that �they� would be able to spend more time together that way. That seemed to tell me that Yuy�s lover had not been a Preventer, or had not been based at Headquarters, but very little else was jumping out at me.
Third letter. Unsigned and undated, addressed to �Heero� and much shorter than the others. More romantic content than the others, although there was some reference to Preventers and Yuy�s job. Reference to watching the stars together on earth, which would also imply that the writer may have been Colonial or lived in the Colonies. A particular phrase � �come home so you can fill me with joy again� � that I had always thought more innuendo than anything else. Suggesting a sense of humour, a healthy sexual relationship despite Heero�s young age.
Damn. I mentally castigated myself for becoming too involved again. Mostly I tried to avoid using the personal names of my historical subjects, even in thought. Usually it was easy, and I had no idea why Heero Yuy was different.
Sighing, I closed down the screens and locked my personal files down, snapping my fingers to withdraw from the system. The sky outside my office window was darkening; it was coming on towards winter and I supposed I would have to remember to fetch my warmer cloaks out of storage some time soon. Stretching, I stood and began the procedure of shutting down the terminal; technically I shouldn�t even have been here on the weekend, but Arisu had been working most of the morning and finally I hadn�t been able to contain my restlessness. I was beginning to think that I might never be able to prove absolutely that Yuy hadn�t been Peacecraft�s lover, and somehow that struck me as a terrible thing.
-----------------------
Extract from the journals of Relena Peacecraft, dated 29th January AC199:
Heero came to see me today; he told me that he would be working part-time with the Preventers from now on. Of course, I was very glad of this; it will allow him to use the terrible abilities he was forced to develop for good, to aid the people rather than harm them. There will be no more wars, and Heero will be making sure of it, so we can all sleep easier. Then, too, this will allow him to be near to me.
We talked for a long time. Of course, he was quiet, and succinct, as always, but it was still more words together than I�ve ever heard from Heero. It gave me hope that he can still learn to throw off his training, learn to be a proper human being so that we can be truly together. He told me that he needs time alone, time to make himself more human; he asked me not to contact him while he was off-planet. I know that that is for the best, of course; everyone needs their own space.
I have hope for him, still; we�re taking steps in the right direction with him splitting his time between the Earth and the Colonies. I have faith that however long it takes, he will eventually come back to me. It may take a long time � someone as scarred as poor Heero has been by the wars needs time to rebuild a life for himself, but I know that he can do it, and of course I�ll help him all I can.
----------------------
She was hiding something. I was sure of it now. I couldn�t be entirely certain, but I thought it might even have something to do with my own little obsession � whenever I said something about Heero Yuy, or the Love Letters, or even the Eve Wars in general, Arisu got quiet and changed the subject, looked somehow uncomfortable. I thought at first that maybe my preoccupation was upsetting her, but she just didn�t want to mention it � but she�s not like that. I�ve known her long enough, we�ve been together long enough, that I know when she�s truly unhappy, and I haven�t been picking up anything like that at all.
It worried me. I didn�t honestly think she�d found someone else, but what if she wanted to end our relationship somehow? Over this? I knew I needed to ask her about it, but it was almost as if fate was conspiring to keep us apart for a while � Arisu had acquired a large contract, and a lot of her time was taken up with meetings and conferences with the leaders of the business, while I was busy with giving my lecture series and obsessively going through my notes on the Eve Wars. Yes, obsessively; I was at least aware that I was approaching an unhealthy fixation. The previous week an old movie had been broadcast on one of the historical channels; a romantic epic of fifty years before that purported to tell the story of the �forbidden love� between Minister Peacecraft and her Perfect Soldier. It had been� terrible, to know that this fabricated, overblown story was what the universe believed. I wanted so badly to �clear Yuy�s name� as it were, to set the record straight, and I knew that there was no way I could, without definite proof. All I had was conjecture.
I scrubbed my fingers through my hair, resting my elbows on my knees, and almost jumped out of my skin at a hesitant touch on my shoulder.
"Arisu!" I had thought she was in her office still, jacked in to her terminal and working � or hacking, or just riding the datastreams. It was something of a game for her, I thought, finding her way around others� security.
"Are you all right?" She flopped to the couch beside me, her hand rubbing at my shoulder slowly. Comfort. No, I knew that there was nothing seriously wrong. Whatever it was, she would tell me, in time.
"I�m OK, I suppose." I shrugged. "Just frustrated. I�m about as sure as I can be that there�s really nothing out there to find. It almost seems like a conspiracy � like someone went around deleting all the information on Yuy or something."
"Do you really think that?"
I sighed. "I don�t know. Maybe. He was quite paranoid, I think; he could have done it himself, and gods know Peacecraft must have been annoying."
That got a laugh out of her. "Varra � can I ask you something?" There was a note in her voice that made me sit up a little.
"Of course � anything. You know that�"
She waved my protest away, her face strangely closed. "Why are you so� desperate to find out about this? It�s more than just any historical mystery to you�"
Her expression seemed to imply that the answer was important to her, perhaps more than even she realised. I thought about it, sifted through my own mind to try and unearth my reasons.
"I think� it is partly because we don�t know. It seems so unfair, that everyone believes he was with Relena, especially when we do know what she was really like. It�s not enough to know that Heero wouldn�t have had any kind of relationship with her; I need to be able to prove it. The only way to do that is to find out who he was really in love with. I just think � whoever his lover was, they couldn�t have wanted everyone to think Heero loved Relena. I know how I�d feel if, in a hundred years, everyone thought that your words to me were for � for some insane politician or something."
"Relena wasn�t really all that bad, you know." Arisu looked up at me, perched in the corner of the couch with her arms wrapped around her knees. "She was a very good peacemaker and negotiator; she did a lot of good things, and she did eventually give up on �converting� Heero."
"Converting�?" That was a very particular word choice, surely? "Arisu?"
"I guess what I really want to know is who you�re doing this for," she murmured, eyes unfocused. "Are you just doing this for you, for another new discovery and maybe a promotion at work? Or�"
"For him � for them. Heero doesn�t deserve to have people think him the Vice-Minister�s toy, and� his lover� doesn�t deserve to be forgotten."
She nodded, almost to herself, and pushed herself upright. "Fine. I�ll show you."
"Arisu, what?"
"Come with me."
----------------------
Extract from a letter written by Heero Yuy, AC198:
It�s funny how I can talk more easily when we�re not actually talking. You�d find it funny, anyway; I can almost hear you laughing now. You know I miss you. Lying beside you, bringing you coffee in the mornings until you�re awake enough to kiss, playing with your hair. I never thought I would ever have anything like you.
And now you�re wrinkling up your nose and saying �you don�t have me, Yuy,� in that tone of voice, and if I was there I would beg to differ and we�d end up in bed again. I wish I was there. So we could do that, but just so I could see you. I miss you. I never thought I would ever miss anyone, not so that it actually hurts when one of us is gone. I�m going to have to speak to Une about changing my schedules so that we have more time together. Most of these supposedly urgent missions don�t actually need me specifically.
In any case, I will be back as soon as it�s physically possible. I need to see you for longer than five minutes, without time lags or tiny little vidphone screens. I need you.
-----------------------
Arisu led me into her office, pushing me into her desk chair and opening a cupboard door, pulling out� something. A square box about thirty centimetres wide and ten deep, made from some silvery metal. I had never seen it before, but it looked old. She pulled a key � an actual metal key, about three centimetres long, from beneath the desk and looked to me.
I stared at her. "Arisu, what is this?"
"My secret." She smiled. "I found this in the attics at Riyadh when I was eleven. It was after great-grandfather died, and a lot of the old stuff was getting cleared out � it�s not important. I found this in an old bureau, locked, but the key was in one of the drawers."
Arisu set the box on the desk and handed me the key. I looked to her hesitantly. "What�s in it?"
"Information." She nodded her head to indicate that I should unlock the box, so I slipped the key into the lock and turned it carefully. To my surprise, the mechanism worked cleanly and silently; I wondered who had originally owned it.
"How old is this?" I asked, running fingertips over the smooth metal. It felt almost like silver, but it had a paler sheen to it.
"At least two hundred years." Arisu slid her fingers into the indentations on the sides and lifted the lid. I couldn�t help but gasp; there, divided neatly into five even stacks, were some of the oldest datacubes I had ever seen. They were actual holocubes, centimetres wide; I did a quick calculation and put their age at anything up to three hundred and fifteen years.
"My gods, Arisu�" I felt giddy, and then I saw the clear plastic unit that had been set into the lid of the box, and the memory flecks inside. "They were readable?" I gasped disbelievingly.
That half-smile tugged up the corner of her mouth again. "You would not believe how long it took me to put together something that could read them." She opened the unit and passed me the first of the flecks on a fingertip, indicating the portable datareader that lay on the desk. I couldn�t get it inserted fast enough.
Once I did, I couldn�t quite believe what I was seeing. A directory tree � the years 196 through 200, broken down into folders titled �Letters�, �Photos�, �Journal�. "Is this what I think it is?" I whispered, opening the first file of pictures.
The reader was set to show graphics as a slideshow, and the first image that filled the screen took my breath away. Heero Yuy, wearing a red-trimmed black flightsuit, lounging in the observation window of a spacecraft, gazing out at the starfield with such an incredibly intimate look on his face� I cycled through to the next image. Heero again, standing on a catwalk before the hatch of a mobile suit, still in that flightsuit that clung to the lines of his body, and with a helmet under his arm. I couldn�t believe it � he was smiling. Smiling into the camera; the expression transformed him. The image was titled �For Me.� That made me smile.
I touched the key to bring up the next photograph, and then I understood. That scrawled note, which had seemed so much more masculine than Relena Peacecraft�s handwriting, that scribble of a signature� A scribble which I could now recognise as ancient Japanese, a style of writing which had died out even before the time of the wars. I smiled, touching the screen with one finger. "Endless Waltz," I read the title to myself.
It was a beautiful photograph, judged purely on aesthetics. Obviously taken in zero gravity, Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell were floating wrapped in each other�s arms, both wearing those flightsuits. Kissing as though they were completely unaware of being photographed. Duo�s long braid was spiralling around them both, winding across Heero�s shoulders and looking almost as though it bound them together. They looked fey, unearthly � unbelievably beautiful.
"Duo Maxwell," I whispered to myself. This was my answer; a solution I had never even considered. I laughed with glee. "Duo Maxwell and Heero Yuy. It�s perfect."
"Read the journal," Arisu whispered in my ear, perching herself on the arm of the chair. Obediently, I opened up the file and found that instead of text it too was graphic � scans of what appeared to be handwritten documents. The handwriting�
"This is Heero?" I scanned the text. No, there were other notations in there, short comments in a familiarly tidy scrawl. "�Both of them? My gods," I murmured reverently. This � this was more than I would ever have believed possible. Now � I knew. Knew the person, and the reason. Knew why Heero Yuy and Duo Maxwell had kept their relationship so secret for so long. And it had nothing to do with Relena at all�
------------------
Extract from the private journal of Heero Yuy:
It�s difficult. I suppose it always will be; we need Relena too much to risk discrediting her in public. I will say this � her obsession seems to be fading a little recently. Perhaps she may finally comprehend that I don�t care for her in a romantic way. She was never more to me than a sort of friend, and recently even that�s slipping. I know it bothers Duo to be snubbed by her, so I�ve kept to my resolve to avoid her outside of missions. That last time, at the anniversary conference, she latched on to me like a limpet and wouldn�t so much as acknowledge his existence. It made me so angry that I had to get away before I caused a scene. I was almost tempted to get �seen� with Duo by one of those damn reporters that are always hanging around. Kissing on the Headquarters steps, maybe, or during one of those interminable balls. She asked me to dance last time, and I didn�t know how to politely refuse.
even the Yuy Death Glare doesn�t work on her any more!
-Doesn�t work on you either.
did you really think it would?
The world would be so shocked. It�s not so bad in the colonies, but on Earth Relena is the fashion standard, social icon, all that nonsense. Half the planet seems to be certain we�re planning our wedding. It�s difficult.
she couldn�t marry you if she tried. I have a prior claim
I like the life we have here.
me too, lover
Few people know or care who we really are, and it doesn�t matter to anyone that we�re together. Outside of a mission for a few days every month or so, we�re free to just be us. It�s what we wanted for everyone � freedom to live as they choose.
difficult to declare war on the press, Heero. Where would you attack? The pen is mightier than the sword and all that shit
-And the beam rifle can vaporise them both. Tends to get more attention, too.
God, it�d be worth it if only for the look on her face! I wish
It�s not much of a temptation really, however annoying it is when the girl glomps onto me and parades me in front of all the cameras,
sickening. I�m the one who has to watch and Not Say Anything Nasty
�or when she gets that look on her face and I can just see everyone getting the wrong idea. I wouldn�t want a relationship that belonged more to the media and the people than it did to me.
What we have is ours. It�s personal. I don�t want to share Duo with half the Earth Sphere.
I�m yours. Utterly. For always, Heero
I want to keep us as us, so that we can go out to dinner or a movie without cameras following us, and not have to see our intimate lives discussed in the papers for the titillation of total strangers. All the important people know we�re a couple, and that�s what matters. If it means we keep this cosy kind of intimacy, I can put up with a lot.
you shouldn�t have to. Just on fucking principle. But to hell with them, anyway � let them think what they like, you�ll never be hers
-Yours. Forever.
----------------------
"I can�t believe I didn�t realise," I murmured to myself. It was late; by mutual agreement we had left the rest of Heero�s memories for tomorrow and retired to bed.
"Hmm?" Arisu murmured drowsily, snuggling back against me. "Varra?"
"The signature � it�s so scrawled that no one understood. It looks like it might just be letters on top of each other, or a doodle, but it was there all along. Telling us who really loved Heero."
"Duo loved Heero. Do you mean the Love Letters?"
"Mm. The note � Duo signed it, after all, in kanji. Shinigami."
"The God of Death," Arisu whispered, tucking herself more securely into my arms. "Are you going to expose them, then? Tell the world?"
"�I don�t know." I had been thinking about it, on and off, ever since I had seen that photograph. Those two � they had been Gundam Pilots together, they had fought a war and been terrorists and assassins, in a way, and still found time to fall in love. "Maybe � maybe it�s enough that somebody knows. Somebody remembers them, really remembers. I want to look through the rest of it, anyway."
"There�s lots. Right up until their deaths," Arisu murmured.
Heero and Duo. The Perfect soldier and the God of Death. They must have had something special, I thought. To find each other at fifteen, and stay together for life� Soulmates? Was that what the word meant? In any case, their memory was entrusted to me now. I remembered the other picture I had seen, the one that had stuck with me perhaps more than any other. Heero glaring, with his arms wrapped possessively around Duo from behind, while Duo leant back against him with his arms folded and the most beautifully smug expression on his face. Neither of them perfect, neither of them unscarred, but none of that important when they were together.
I would remember them, I knew. Even if no one else ever knew. I would remember them always.